Fedez
Baci Perugina

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. And when you're single on "the day of lovers," you feel like the biggest loser. Or rather, if you're single but still manage to get laid, you couldn't care less. In fact, it's better since you won't have to blow half your paycheck on useless gifts for your baby.

In an attempt to help you score a last-minute hookup, I've decided to point out the latest brilliant literary work by the greatest poet of our time: Federico Leonardo Lucia, aka Fedez. "What a stupid pseudonym," you might say. Sure, but think for a moment how difficult the life of a tattooed gangsta up to his bum would have been if he had taken the stage with the name "Rapper Lucia." Not easy, I assure you.

Anyway, since no hot chicks pass by here even by accident, we can easily talk about how to pick up a woman easy-easy, without running the risk of being caught by the fairer sex, while trying to score in an unkind manner.

Do you want to pick up a girl, preferably one who has just reached legal age? Do you want a nice consenting teen but don't know how to do it? You just have to go to the nearest supermarket and buy a nice box of Baci Perugina. That's it.

Yeah, because the marketing geniuses of the famous chocolate of love had the idea of the century: "Instead of the stale and old romantic aphorisms by famous writers, poets, and musicians, let's put the cutest phrases of the great Bard of modern times: Fedez."

At this point, you just have to memorize one of the fantastic phrases of the Greatest and recite it with your heart in your hand to a beautiful, brainless chick who listens to the tattooed gangsta king of social networks. Yes, the one that even Salvini mocks on Facebook. That's the one.

So between a "Look me in the face; my eyes speak, and you should listen to them more often" (strictly without punctuation, to maintain the literary authenticity of the "Poet dressed in ink"), a wonderful "It's magnificent outside, yes, but you a bit more," or a definitive message like "Tonight I sleep on my favorite side, yours," even this Valentine's Day you will have ample chances to slip your truth-teller into a paper, indeed.

And now I'll leave you with my all-time favorite phrase, dedicated to you, only to you, for whom I feel the most noble of all feelings: love (the one with two m's, the noblest).

"If desire is the measure of love, you are my favorite meter."

Yep, Fedez likes short girls, after all, only in a circus could he fit.

The circus of LOVE <3