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Rating: Fabbrifibra has not yet reached artistic maturity, I have to admit with bitterness, because from a talented person like him, I expect the best of the best. Talented? No, perhaps here we are dealing with genius, but only time will tell. Let’s limit ourselves to today and give Fabbri some marketing tips to truly become a monument of Italian song, of international hip hop.
The other day, I was distractedly watching TV while downloading from emù and listening to radio u, when my attention was caught by a familiar image: I turned down the radio and turned up the TV, and, incredibly, on MTV there was Elisa speaking. I mean, speaking, got it, Fabri, she speaks. Surrounded by the two VJs on duty, one is the one who looks like Giovanni Storti, only with tattoos, she was describing how to give birth to something, a verse I believe, she went with her henchmen to some hermitage and from 9 PM to 7 AM they searched for a note, the one that couldn’t be found at sea level.
This was the original speech:
Elisa: Yeah, like, it was something like incredible, because like we sat down at like nine and like we got up from the table like at seven; it’s right that it’s like this, like because everything has to be perfect, it’s like in your job (do VJs work?), everything must be like just right.
Now, Fabri, understood how you should speak to reach the heart of the fans, the younger, immature ones, and the older ones easily influenced by horoscopes? You mumble, nobody understands a damn thing you say, you’re always angry and spit, whereas Elisa was angelic and calm, serene, with her little white blouse peeking out of the gray sweater, she was calm because she had found peace in that hermitage, and by sitting and playing Monopoly, she eventually found the word, the note, the divine inspiration. She transmits serenity to the frustrated adolescent in conflict with the world, a kind of hormonal laxative, but at the same time sends a reassuring message even to the older ones, by telling them: what you want is within reach, you just have to want it and work for it, perfection is in you. Karma, understood, Fabri, karma is the weapon to understand our fleeting times, not the underground protest that is now over.
A bit of Morgan for you as well: Fabbri, have you seen Morgan’s style? Whatever the topic, he manages to make it special and interesting. And thanks to this natural gift of his, he has become friends with those at MTV and AllMusic, who can’t do without him anymore: got a clogged sink? Let’s call Morgan, who can then tell it on TV and we get tons of viewers. He talks about everything, absolutely everything, doesn’t shy away from any subject. The other day my mother was undecided whether to put onion in the carbonara: we call Morgan and he solves the problem. Fabbri, my mom called Morgan and not you, understand? With his reassuring appearance and affected way of posing questions, he manages to also break into the hearts of adults, thus expanding the potential buyers of his records. It’s a smart reasoning, the age group 50-70 is the least accustomed to P2P, so all purchases are in-store.
Politics. Fabbri, sorry, but it’s still unclear where you stand, and this is crucial. Teens don’t care if you are left or right, but as we have seen in this age group, you are threatened by Elisa’s eloquence, for the age group 25-35 you need to gear up and make your orientations clear. Take your main competitors in this market segment, Caparezza and Jovanotti: two gurus, crowd-pullers, debt-cancellingorinafallacicattivabastabombeporcamiseria Lorenzo’s clear, sharp message. The pulled Pugliese with the little devil, on the other hand, is far left, we will find him in parliament in a few years, he’s preparing the ground. Do the math, what’s left for you? There’s the center, but frankly your message and your ways are out of reach, or the right. Fabbri, I know you’re turning up your nose, but think of one thing: In Italy, half of the population is right-wing and no one gives them any attention from an artistic standpoint: cinema is left-wing, painters are all lefties, satire is left-wing. Here’s a pissed and muttering right waiting only for their musical messiah, to express with anger, in the square or within domestic walls, all their frustration against mortadella and Bertinotto, who have cornered the geniuses of the Italian song.
Fabbri, the opportunity is unrepeatable, unique, a crude and angry but educated and gentlemanly hip hop to give voice to this repressed and fearful people, made of artisans and merchants, notaries and accountants and pharmacists, VAT-registered workers threatened and insecure, the small and medium industry with their buttocks soaking in Romania, total evaders and high-class call girls, and then housewives and plumbers, jewelers and bakers who no longer make michetta because it’s not worth it, bloodsucking lawyers and bond-dealing bankers, bankrupts and swashbucklers awaiting amnesty.
In short, Fabbri, the productive class of the country is just waiting for you. They will be your people. And you, our redeemer.
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