Engerica
The Smell (singolo)

Sometimes I lie down on the bed and think... I think about how nice the world must have been without Blue, Jesse McCartney, and the likes. And without Engerica... Let's step back. It all starts on Thursday… I sit at my desk with a monstrous amount of homework, and when I finally finish (after five hours, I mean, these damn teachers of mine) I decide to relax by listening to some music.

After a heated discussion between Creative, MTV, All Music, and Flux, I opt for the latter. A bit of alternative music never hurts, after all… or at least that's what I thought. After a couple of minutes, be your own PET, Arctic Monkeys, and Eagles of Death Metal appeared on the screen. A pretty bad evening. Properly crowned. At one point, I hear a big guitar riff that seems to herald something. A green trail on a black and white background. Title: The Smell. Artist: Engerica. I say, who are these guys, and I haven't even finished thinking it when I feel myself freeze to the tips of my slippers. The usual guitar plays a melody, rather simple, but I've already heard it. And it doesn’t anticipate good news. Indeed, this is the "riff" from "Wake Me Up When September Ends" by Green Day. Redone in a crossover style. Listen (though I discourage you from doing so) to believe.

Overwhelmed by bewilderment, I try to follow the song, but the more it goes on, the more amazed I am. The singer of this English group screams rather than sings, following the line-chord-line-chord-line scheme, all in Green Day style. Without exception. The video relentlessly proceeds. The green trail is the odor mentioned in the song, infiltrating between sewers and septic tanks, penetrating homes and suffocating everyone inside. And while a poor soul is choking, Engerica launches into the ghastly chorus from the rooftop of a skyscraper, heavily inspired by Blue (always with a crossover backdrop), which concludes with the singer's scream that sounds as if he just attended a concert by Wilma De Angelis. With wide eyes, helpless before the horror, I continue to endure the song. The second verse begins with the singer's croak, followed by the GD chord, and finally a mutter, and ultimately, the chorus again. Had they been born thirty years earlier, Dario Argento might have given them a thought. Without a doubt. And just because it was missing, here comes the horrendous solo. While this damn smell keeps claiming victims, and the affected city pours into the streets, here’s the bassist (who goes by the name of Mike Webber, now you know who to lynch :-) who launches an inescapable solo break, let's say more or less three notes repeated seven hundred and ninety thousand times, which if you try to do it yourself, you'll dream of it at night and they will have to urgently hospitalize you.

But that's not all, ladies and gentlemen, because that junkie David Gardner (who really looks like a junkie, like Pete Doherty, if you know what I mean) intersperses the guitar torment with some screams? croaks? signs of diarrhea? phone conversation with the Cugini Di Campagna? (you decide). And then? Then it all ends (damn, finally) but here comes the chorus again with these poor human beings who find themselves praying in front of a church (not so much to pray to the good Lord to end the smell, but to give Engerica anemia in my opinion), which later reveals that even the church is infested and all happy Gardner & co. close the performance with a chilling pause, only to explode on the roof when the smell reaches them suffocating them (oh yes, because now smells make things explode). So now I draw my conclusions. How the hell do these record companies dare to present us with this crap? And then they complain that the music market is in crisis. And I say: and you even have the guts to complain, you sadomasochistic retards? go to hell! Keep on this way; who knows, maybe one day a smell will come to you that makes you fly up like this lousy group, and not even divine intervention could save you. Let's say as a warning.

To conclude: I highly advise against it, but if you love strong adventures, the video is in permanent rotation (aargh) on Flux. And good luck. You will remember it for your whole life, just like me. And it’s not the most beautiful thing in the world. I FEEL SICK!