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The Long Goodbye
Love is strange. You can love a woman, an idea, a land, a word, a memory, an image, a song, but also the soul of a person never known except through their art. It may seem like little, but it's not. Winning a heart is always a difficult endeavor. So I can say that I loved the soul and sensitivity of Elliott Smith, because through his songs, his art, it was possible to glimpse all of his crystalline delicacy, as clear as a mirror of water gently rippled by the wind. But beneath the water there was darkness and torment. Elliott was a luminous melancholy, his heart a universe of stars, for this he easily conquered me, without the need for a long siege.
Today, however, listening to his music my feelings are more confused, because it is impossible for me to separate Elliott's art from his tragic end, which occurred just a year ago. The regret is enormous. It is not easy for me, therefore, to talk about this posthumous album just released. I know it was a project Elliott had worked on for a long time and that it can in fact be considered a complete work, needing only some refinement. But in truth, the "timing" of this release on the first anniversary of his death annoyed me a little. But there's more. Sometimes while listening to it, I can't hold back my anger. I simply cannot accept that Elliott is no longer with us, when he had so much to tell, to give. "From A Basement On The Hill" is proof of that. It is a splendid album, which unfolds from beginning to end, maintaining its entire intensity among ballads, acoustic guitars, and electric fragments. A long breath. It surprises with its ability to both move and tear at the same time. Yes, it's a beautiful album, which, however, manages to make me feel bad, because it's the bitter epilogue of a tormented soul. Because I feel a bit guilty for feeling emotions from a voice that no one will ever hear except from a little plastic disc. And I continue to listen and re-listen to it, I can't help it, just like I can't stop thinking that living is costly, it's not easy. And the antibodies for this absurd, wonderful and horrible disease that is life are not present in everyone. There are those who can't get enough of it, even at the cost of suffering like a dog day after day, and those who can't live through their own hell on earth, waking up every morning without knowing how to get to sunset, without a reason. But why is it so difficult?
Give me a cigarette, yes, a cigarette. I know I have quit, but now I want a cigarette. Because I don't care. I want to smoke it angrily, nervously, until it becomes a smoldering ember. And the wind will smoke it with me, it will burn out quickly. The last bitter drag from the burnt filter is said to hurt the most, but it will also be the sweetest. Before it goes out entirely, I'll toss it away and watch that small bright arc it draws in the air. And then hold me, because I will need it.
Tracklist Lyrics and Samples
01 Coast to Coast (05:34)
Last stop for a resolution
End of the line, is it confusion, so go
I can't see what's there for you
Nothing new, nothing new for you to use
I've got no new act to amuse you
I've got no desire to use you, you know
But anything that I could do
Would never be good enough for you
If you can't help it then just leave it alone
Leave it alone, yeah, just forget it
It's really easy
I believe I'll forget it too
Still you're keeping me around
'Til I finally drag us both down
Pulling feathers out your hat
Yes I believe that's where it's at
You belong tagging along
And I belong in the zoo
So I wait for confirmation
That you're never gonna use your starting gun
Unless its me it sounds like
Being here just wasn't that much fun
Anything that I could do
Would never be good enough for you
If you can't help it then just leave it alone
Leave me alone, yeah, just forget it
It's really easy, I'll just forget it too
Coast to coast, coast to coast
I'll do what I can so you can be what you do
Coast to coast, coast to coast
I'll do everything I can so you can be what you do
Coast to coast, coast to coast
Circuit rider comes every fifth Sunday
Oh my lord, I fell asleep one day
Anything that I could do
Is there anything that I could do
That someone doesn't do for you
That someone didn't do for you
That I haven't already done for you
06 A Fond Farewell (03:57)
The Litebrite's now black and white
'Cause they took apart a picture that wasn't right
Pitch burning on a shining sheet
The only maker that you'd want to meet
A dying man in a living room
Whose shadow paces the floor
He'll take you out any open door
This is not my life
It's just a fond farewell to a friend
It's not what I'm like
It's just a fond farewell to a friend
Who couldn't get things right
Fond farewell to a friend
He said really I just wanna dance
Good and evil matched perfect it's a great romance
I can deal with some psychic pain
If it'll slow down my higher brain
Veins full of disappearing ink
Vomiting in the kitchen sink
Disconnecting from the missing link
This is not my life
It's just a fond farewell to a friend
It's not what I'm like
It's just a fond farewell to a friend
Who couldn't get things right
Fond farewell to a friend
I see you're leaving me and taking up with the enemy
The cold comfort of the in between
A little less than a human being
A little less than a happy high
A little less than a suicide
The only things that you really tried
This is not my life
It's just a fond farewell to a friend
It's not what I'm like
It's just a fond farewell to a friend
Who couldn't get things right
Fond farewell to a friend
09 Twilight (04:30)
Haven't laughed this hard in a long time
I better stop now before I start crying
Go off to sleep in the sunshine
I don't want to see the day when it's dying
She's a sight to see, she's good to me
I'm already somebody's baby
She's a pretty thing and she knows everything
But I'm already somebody's baby
You don't deserve to be lonely
But those drugs you got won't make you feel better
Pretty soon you'll find it's the only
Little part of your life you're keeping together
I'm nice to you, I could make it through
That you're already somebody's baby
I could make you smile if you stayed a while
But how long will you stay with me baby
Because your candle burns too bright
Well, I almost forgot it was twilight
Even if I think that you are right
Well, I'm tired of being down, I got no fight
You're wonderful, when it's beautiful
But I'm already somebody's baby
And if I went with you I'd disappoint you too
Well, I'm already somebody's baby
Already somebody's baby
12 Shooting Star (06:01)
Do make the scene like you always do
Going up stream down the avenue
To fuck some trophy boy
That you win tonight at the bar
So bad, so far
You'll make him sad, shooting star
When it was me
I was momentarily proud
Drunk on dreams
Now I'm glad I didn't say out loud
You said you'd be for real
But I don't believe that you are
So bad, so far
You make me sad, shooting star
You're distant and cold
And a sight to behold
Everybody just sighs
No one gets off
With you very long
'Cause you don't feel bad when you lie
I'm going to sleep now
Going back to find square one
Square two will be where
I can deal with the shit you've just done
It won't be soon
To say the least it's gonna be hard
So bad, so far
Your love is sad, shooting star
Your love is sad, shooting star
13 Memory Lane (02:30)
This is the place you end up
When you lose the chase
Where you're dragged against your will
From a basement on the hill
And all anybody knows
Is you're not like them
And they kick you in the head
And send you back to bed
Isolation pulled you passed a tunnel to a bright
World where you can make a place to stay
But everybody's scared of this place
They're staying away
Your little house on Memory Lane
The mayor's name is fear
His force patrols the pier
From a mountain of cliche
That advances everyday
The doctor spoke a cloud
He rained out loud
You'll keep your doors and windows shut
And swear you'll never show a soul again
But isolation pushes you 'til every muscle aches
Down the only road it ever takes
But everybody's scared of this place
They're staying away
Your little house on Memory Lane
If it's your decision
To be open about yourself
Be careful or else
Be careful or else
I'm comfortable apart
It's all written on my chart
And I take what's given me
Most cooperatively
I do what people say
And lie in bed all day
Absolutely horrified
I hope you're satisfied
Isolation pushes past self-hatred, guilt and shame
To a place where suffering is just a game
But everybody's scared of this place
They're staying away
Your little house on Memory Lane
Your little house on Memory Lane
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