SUPERVAI1986

Three friends are talking about the contraceptives they use. First one:
- I prefer condoms, they're clean, safe, and protect against infections.
Second one:
- Yes, but the rubber... I prefer the pill; you take it in the evening and then you don’t have to think about it anymore.
Third one:
- I use a barrel.
- ???
- My Pasqualino is much shorter than me, so when we make love standing up, he has to get on a barrel. While we’re doing it, I look into his eyes, and when they get glossy, I nudge the barrel with my foot.

A group of sperm marches. Suddenly, the lead sperm stops:
- Everyone freeze! Betrayal! Ass!!!

He and she are having sex. He:
- Shall we do a 68?
- Sorry, what’s that?
- You suck me off and I owe you one.

In a painting, there is a courtroom depicted, where 100 virgins are standing and one non-virgin is sitting.
Title of the painting: THE SESSION IS OPEN.

Do you know which is the most polite animal? ...the bird!...why?! ...because when it sees a woman, it stands up, when she enters, it takes off its hat, and when she leaves, it bows!!!

A crazy guy is polishing his dick when a friend arrives and asks him, "What are you doing?"
He replies, "I'm polishing the binoculars!"
The friend: "Does that look like binoculars to you?"
He says, "Yesterday he stuck it up my ass and I saw the stars!!"

A man goes to a newsstand and asks the newsagent: Excuse me, do you happen to have the time, grace, and fairy hands??
The newsagent: Yes!
The man: Then give me a hand job!!

On the Intercity train from Rome to Florence...
A man and a woman are sitting across from each other. She’s wearing a daringly short skirt and he notices that she’s also not wearing any underwear. He can't help but look at her between her legs, but she notices and says:
HER: What are you looking at?
HIM: I’m sorry... but!
HER: No, no, go ahead, I never wear them anyway!!! In fact, I’ll tell you that if you look closely, it even winks at you.
HIM: Really!!!!????
So he leans in a bit and suddenly her little one winks at him.
HIM: Incredible!!!
HER: If you lean in even closer, it might even blow you a kiss.
HIM: Really!!!????
HER: Go on, try it.
So he leans in closer and... SMACK, it sends him a kiss.
HIM: This is fantastic!!!
He then gets up and sits next to her.
And she exclaims: wouldn’t it be a good idea to put two fingers in at this point?
HIM: But can you also whistle?

I have to go see it next week with my dad and my cousin... from the review, it seems like I made the right choice! XD Yay!... but well, Mr. Clint is a sure thing.

I am honored!*__*