Hell

Nice review, but I've been putting black on the back burner lately..

oops

I’m giving you a point off just because you rated the album a 4. But okay, it’s a genre that’s not for me, and I’m not going to rate it.

No, romantic dinner :) Christmas is an excuse to awaken my culinary skills - modesty aside!

Stoney, you really are quite the fool, aren’t you? Think whatever the hell you want and keep on building castles in the air; in the meantime, I'm going to prepare the honey and chestnut pastries for tonight. And I won’t offer you even one. You brought this on yourself.

Are we really planting this nonsense? Huh? Are we still here discussing the mental closure of the category of human beings commonly referred to as "metallari" (as if we were speaking at an anthropologist conference)? But you know what? All these filthy generalizations make me sick. And you know another thing? The category of "metallari" (what’s the point of classifying in this way? Explain it to me) that you enjoy discrediting is precisely that of the youngest age group. People grow up, the world grows, we change, we develop a mindset and abandon stereotypes. But noooo! You, like some little old ladies, keep belittling the entire metal world by attacking its most vulnerable sides. Convenient. Just four or five years ago, I was a kid who got excited about the infamous double bass. So what?? Are you condemning me to the pyre as a heretic?? Live and let live. But now tell me, what sense (SENSE, SENSE, SENSE, think about this term that no one ever considers: SENSE) does it make to generalize so shamelessly? And above all, tell me what statistical methods led you to conclude that the average "metallaro" is as lavishly portrayed by you. Combat boots-spikes-black clothes?? Do you really think they’re all like that? Then you’re worse than the old spinster who lives down the street from me. The truth (and I don't mean Absolute Truth, just to clarify so no one misunderstands!) is that all this fuss about the supposed category of "metallari" has no shred of foundation, neither today nor ever. Because they are just pure and simple generalizations. And if you were the open-minded people you've wanted to make us believe until now, you wouldn't even think about the existence of a damn class of "metallari." And now, in your face, I say: this album spaKKKKKKa.

But what fragmented review or anything else, this is a surgical dismantling.

This is NOT a review, it’s an essay, complete with bibliography/video/audiography at the end! Fantastic :D

Smoking dry shit. Every man for himself.

These 1000 Funerals are not on Metal Archives..! That really unsettles me, it can't be possible O_O