Dingo Pictures
Dinosauri

Dingo Pictures: Dinosaurs

Also: MMACCHECCAZZOSTOGUARDANDOOOOO?

What follows inevitably is a laugh and a heart attack due to it. If you don't laugh, or worse, if you take it seriously, ask yourself some questions.

I could tell you that Dingo Pictures is a German company that, to put it plainly, copies other far more famous animations (are you familiar with the Asylum?); Disney classics, Pixar classics, just classics... For example "Toys Story" (which even boasts a masterpiece of a fake cover), "Atlantis", "The Sword in the Stone" and even "Balto" (I believe, though the film is titled as such).
Obviously, it does so in an obscene manner, and I'm telling you.
I could also tell you that in their damn trailers, they basically summarize the plot.

BUT WE DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT.

Instead, I can tell you that "Dinosaurs" is, I believe, the most beautiful animated film I have ever seen. Certainly, the most unforgettable.
In line with the other films, this too should be a mockbuster, but I really couldn't tell you what of... Maybe The Land Before Time?

This masterpiece, in recent years, has undergone an incredible boom online, after its first-ever appearance on YouTube in June 2010 (and I caught it more or less live, having discovered it in September of the same year), it's impossible not to have seen a related video or snippet.

But the entire film, dear sirs, is a whole other story...

Since it's a film (...I think...), it's to be treated like a film, therefore I'll give you some general information. Caution: spoiler warning and a multitude of brackets.

The plot, for example. The plot?
How would I know?

Apparently, it all starts with the firstborn of two dinosaurs coming into the world (two brontosauruses giving birth to what looks like a t-rex, and already here), named Tio and he needs to grow up, and he needs to behave, and blah blah blah, and then they decide to send him to school when he'd rather play with his pteroduck friend Cree. He even tries to teach him to fly, but we know how that's going to end.
So, Tio (damn ... I couldn't hold back) is forced to go to school by Horo (I think that's how you spell it, but do they have an official name or are we going by sound alike?) for three hours a day; the little one spontaneously sends his parents to hell for this decision.
During a lesson (I think), Horo warns the students of his discovery: an eruption (or an erection, depending on interpretations) is coming that will kill everyone and say goodbye unless they listen to him and leave. Obviously, no one believes him, and who can blame them. I mean, would you believe a senile dinosaur claiming to predict eruptions with an overturned gramophone?
Yet he was right. Tio and Cree run away, and nobody knows what happened to the others. It is hypothesized that they all died.
After a while, they travel in search of his parents (or something like that) and along the way they encounter gorillas, now carnivorous triceratops (carnithops) that have no time to waste on silliness.

And then I don't remember what happens, but I think I've given a general idea.

Alright, now can I move on to what truly makes this thing a masterpiece? The top 3, in ascending order of magnificence:

1- The drawings. The dinosaurs and everything else are drawn so poorly, I mean REALLY POORLY that you look at them and feel like dying inside and feel that you just can't handle it. They don't even look like dinosaurs, stuff I would draw maybe. For instance, someone explain to me what the hell this is supposed to be?

2- Peak (??) the stegosaurus. A stupid stegosaurus that does nothing but spout rhyming phrases throughout the film. I want him as a friend in moments of despair.
"Mom and dad have a new baby, they don't care about you anymore"
Okay, maybe not in moments of despair, he would make my morale collapse...

3- THE DUBBING. And here I won't explain anything. GO ON YOUTUBE AND LISTEN TO IT. I'm not even giving you links to test your will.
Nothing like it exists nor will it ever exist. And the world will feel its absence.

Oh, how much did I write for this thing? The project was supposed to be about fifteen lines, I didn't think one could go on for so long...
At this point, I can only tell you to go watch it. Just because I'm nice, I'll put a link to the full video in the information.
Now, for the series "things we really need":

THE JUDGMENT: The Ultimate Work. Reached here, no one can go beyond.
THE SCORE (from 1 to 10): I refuse. It transcends the simple concept of numerical judgment.
TOTAL: Now I can even die. We can all die.