THE INEVITABLE FLOP
There are bands irradiated with genius... and there are also bands that are not at all, such as Dimmu Borgir, a Norwegian ensemble dedicated since 1994 to a symphonic black metal that led them to create three masterpieces like "For All Tid," "Stormblast," and "Enthrone Darkness Triumphant," before all the inherent limits of bands that do not dare to experiment and change their sound appeared, to avoid being labeled as "poseraggine"; from there on, Dimmu collected flop after flop, not even the arrival of a superstar like former COF drummer Nick Barker managed to improve the situation, indeed, in 2005 the band hit rock bottom by sodomizing its own masterpiece "Stormblast" with a horrid re-recorded and horribly distorted version.
However, in 2007 branded Manowar-Dream Theater-Therion-Amorphis, they re-enter the market with a sort of concept album entitled "In Sorte Diaboli" (anyone could have come up with such a concept, even Glenn Benton or myself) of which I managed to grab (for only 9.90 €!!!) the deluxe version, which is truly an item worthy of being passed down to posterity: a hefty digipack as big as a child's cardboard book, containing a hilarious merchandise catalog, illustrating indispensable gadgets among which stand out: the "In Sorte Diaboli" belt (in three exclusive variants!), the "In Sorte Diaboli" necklace, the "In Sorte Diaboli" ashtray, the "In Sorte Diaboli" bracelet, the "In Sorte Diaboli" wristbands, the "In Sorte Diaboli" gloves, the "In Sorte Diaboli" bandana, the "In Sorte Diaboli" tie, the "Stormblast" winter coat, and, behold, an exclusive black thong with a pentagram and the band's logo, to rival famous designers Dolce & Satanica!!!! The peculiarities of this hilarious deluxe edition don't stop there: besides a DVD containing the video for "The Serpentine Offering" and the making of the video itself and the album, one can also find the booklet, with a narrative style akin to an ancient medieval book, with some pentacles and/or goats popping up here and there, and above all a mirror (yes, you read that right) to read the lyrics of the songs, written upside down and from left to right like Leonardo's writings!!!! (are these guys for real??)
But let's move on to the actual album: first of all, it is worth noting the replacement of Nick Barker (respect... and good luck!) no less than with Jan Axel "Hellhammer" Blomberg, the Dave Grohl of true Norwegian black metal, the one who resurrected the already putrid Mayhem to ejaculate trash metal milestones of the caliber of "Wolf's Lair Abyss" or "A Grand Declaration Of War"
Leading the infernal riot is "The Serpentine Offering": that symphonic intro sounds strangely familiar to me (any reference to any Italian power metal band is purely coincidental), but the song itself is very epic and powerful, really beautiful and well-made, although partly tainted by a Shagrath even more hoarse and inexpressive than usual and by the mellifluous clean vocals of bassist I.C.S. Vortex. The fun ends after five minutes with "The Chosen Legacy", which immediately clarifies the general coordinates of "In Sorte Diaboli": lousy Shagrath (but that's nothing new) and lousy Silenoz too, whose already not too inspired guitar is regularly overshadowed by Hellhammer's relentless, implacable, hammering (on the low parts) drumming, which continues throughout the album to stun my poor eardrums. The only one who is spared is the keyboardist Mustis, whose symphonic insights manage to make the musical rambling of the illustrious bandmates a tad more bearable. For the third track, "The Conspiracy Unfolds", the above applies, word for word; a bit more melodic than the previous but equally empty. "The Ancestral Fever" is a bonus track destined exclusively for the European market, and in all honesty, it presents a truly beautiful riff, only to culminate in the typical insipidity of this record. With "The Sacrilegious Scorn" the situation changes a bit, with Mustis trying to give a mystical and sinister air (without particular success) to this little song for which a video was shot where they flaunt their merchandise mentioned above. Worse with the instrumental "The Fallen Arises", three symphonic minutes with a powerful soporific effect, flat and monotone as never before (à Mustis, give a listen to "Iscariot" by Cradle Of Filth, just to get an idea of what a satanic instrumental is). Nothing to say but a meh!
On the following "The Sinister Awakening" (absolutely useless here too is the use of symphonic elements), "The Fundamental Alienation" (ridiculous the mystical little choirs of the intro), "The Invaluable Darkness" (in which the good I.C.S. Vortex, however, interrupts the growl-scream shouting monotony with a delightful interlude in the style of Justin Timberlake) and "The Foreshadowing Furnace", which finally closes (poorly) these 48 minutes of foul language, dominated by a singer even more unsightly than usual, a guitarist at his wits' end, a drummer more intrusive than a gossip from Canicattì, and a bassist who would better express his "talent" in a band like HIM or Evanescence.
Bad lyrics, based on slogans as impactful as empty like "They say I am the cancer, On the back of the Inquisition, I may well be the cancer, On the heart of the Inquisition" or "Mercy is not truth, Your sins are next to mine, Mercy is not truth, All your sins are next to mine" but well done my Silenoz, very original and meaningful even as a songwriter... too bad that satanism for its own sake has never worked on me, not even remotely.
In short, "In Sorte Diaboli" is an album that oozes arrogance from every single hair (of a satanic goat, of course), highly discouraged not only to those under 16 (as the little blue label on the back says) but also to all those who, like me, love originality, poetry, and beauty. In fact, I'm almost inclined to refresh my poor and delicate ears with "Thornography," which may well be a pop and poser album and all you want, but I really like it, what can I do...
Ah, anyway
STAY TANGA WITH PENTAGRAM!!!!!!!
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