Der Kleine Hirnfick
Öffentl. Ärgernis

This time I've outdone myself: I challenge anyone to find a record with fewer copies printed than this one. Well, to be honest, I even feel guilty reviewing this CD because it literally fell into my hands (a gift from a guy who saw them live in some kind of social center) and maybe, though it's unlikely, someone out there has been vainly searching for it for years.

If this CD doesn't just fall from the sky for you, like it did for me, and you've been searching for it for years, then you're not only a delusional lunatic, you're also quite a connoisseur; not a music connoisseur, though, let's be clear, because there's not even a trace of music here. This is not music and this is not a CD: that's precisely why reviewing this work will be a huge mess and that's precisely why I'm scolding myself for getting entangled in an endeavor bigger than me. Yes, because I'm not a connoisseur and I didn't even want this record, but since I love extremism I can't back down now.

The band, made up of four people, comes from nearby Switzerland, a land not highly renowned for music except for the Celtic Frost, and which, through some strange magic, gives rise to this rabble of anarchists hiding behind the tongue-twisting moniker Der Kleine Hirnfick; yes, you heard right, anarchists of the hardcore variety, the really bad ones, the ones who want to tear everything to pieces, the ones who trigger a flood of comments just by being reviewed (that's why this time, being masochistic, I allow anonymous comments) and you end up having the security officials knocking at your door. I apologize for those who say you shouldn't mix politics and music, but as I told you at the beginning, this is essentially not music, so our guys aren't mixing anything, they only do politics.

If we really wanted to categorize their "non-music" I would classify it under the name Grindcore, but a Grindcore absolutely out of every scheme and far from what is commonly understood as such; don't expect stuff like Carcass or Repulsion, here you'll hear "things" more akin to the "primitive" kicking (to quote Hybris) of Napalm Death (in tracks like "Multinational Corporations" or "You Suffer") or, even better, of Assuck. The problem is that these albeit vague references are totally misleading and don't remotely give an idea of what "Offentl. Agernis" is.

The CD is divided into three precise parts; the first ten tracks are actual songs (which means "things where they play instruments"), from the eleventh to the twenty-third there is a radio program titled "Slow Grind", where they do nothing but speak in German, while in the third and last part there are two more "songs". All of this, lasting a whopping seventy minutes, was recorded live between 1993 and 1994, just to make an album of this kind even less commercial (in my opinion, not without a deep self-satisfaction). It's impossible to make a strictly musical discourse for a band like this as the notes played are so few and repetitive that they don't allow one to talk about technique or not. The voice, at times Growl but much more often used just to rough up, scream, or talk for entire minutes, paradoxically recalls more Andy Vega from Suicide; and inadvertently here I've mentioned a band to which perhaps our Der Kleine Hirnfick refers. Those who remember the "assembly line" sounds of the mentioned New Yorkers will finally have an idea of what to expect: however, less noticeable is the Industrial component in favor of the Grind and, at times, Hardcore Punk elements.

But these four Swiss slip even from classifications and, against the attempt to label them as a Grindcore band, present pieces up to ten minutes long absolutely slow and senseless. The guitar does nothing but repeat more or less the same rounds for the entire duration of the CD, with riffs (if we want to call them that) very dirty and exhausting, capable of recreating those terrifying urban guerrilla scenarios which our protagonists talk about in their lyrics. Sirens, shootings, beatings, and police charges (their main object of hate along with all law enforcement); and still tear gas, baton charges, destruction, and that "martial law" atmosphere that slowly drives you to hate. Der Kleine Hirnfick wants us to taste the lack of freedom to make us desire it even more. The drums go slow but are not oppressive, while the vocalist seems to chant hymns against power and incite the most subversive protest possible: the bass, very distorted, gives the rhythm for what seems to be a military march. German screams, which sound more like orders than the text of a song, bring the listener into a coup atmosphere: the moral of the story, they manage to make you feel genuinely anxious and in danger.

Beyond their political message, so violent that it can't help but be deplored, we must acknowledge this quartet's great musical courage: politically they are incorrect, even very incorrect, and this from someone who generally doesn't flinch at reading the most sick lyrics around. Our guys don't joke or do it to shock, rather, they turn out to be ultimately as annoying as their extreme right-wing counterpart. Someone said extremes meet...

Finally, we come to the grade I didn't give: why? Because it would entail debating whether this is art or just a musical joke and I have a feeling the discussion would be nothing short of lengthy: the cream of critics have torn each other apart deciding whether to crown or condemn works of this caliber and surely it won't be a bunch of debasers (least of all me) to take on this burden. Personally, I recommend it to anyone who loves extremism in general: considering that if you ever found it no one would make you pay more than two or three euros, I'd say it's worth that kind of expense just for what it represents. This is one of the furthest points to which music can reach.

PS; there's no point in looking for information on these guys unless you know German... there's no English or Italian website talking about them.