Denis Villeneuve
Arrival

This movie is such a gigantic and fragrant piece of crap that reviewing it seriously is like playing its game (because the movie is serious). But I'm not falling for it, and I'm spilling the beans by telling the plot, free from the fascination of the special effects of its damn soul and so I lay it bare and to hell with it, you asked for it.

How is it and how it isn't, one fine day aliens arrive.

12 spacecrafts in 12 different spots around the world.

450 meters long, shaped like elongated suppositories.

They arrive and hover in mid-air doing nothing. They loom.

The Americans call a young translator named LOUISE to communicate with the aliens.

She communicates with them by writing on a sign like in an old Bob Dylan song.

The aliens communicate by drawing on their foggy board.

The aliens are two and are called GIANNI AND PINOTTO. They are very large, like elephant-sized octopuses, half-witted.

They write with their tentacles, the tentacle opens like a flower and in the center, there's an asshole (I'm not kidding) that sprays a misty ink to make the drawings.

The drawings are all the same.

They are circles but along the circumference, there are some ripples.

She translates immediately, how tough it can be, damn it. Oh, there's also a mathematician with the translator but he's useless, she does everything, he is her lackey. He just walks in the game of mime in front of the aliens when she writes on the billboard HE WALKS.

At a certain point, the Chinese freak out and the Russians half freak out and want to attack the aliens, just like that. The Americans, who in the movie are good, do not.

In the end, the aliens tell her (now they deeply understand each other, they even high-five) LOUISE YOU HAVE THE GIFT! She UNDERSTANDS, makes a phone call in Chinese to the head of the Chinese and they all become FRIENDS IN AN INSTANT.

All of this at the cost of a prank with the aliens that we will pay for in 3000 years.