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Few know that every full moon and every black moon the congregation of wicked and dark Satanists of the Devil and not of the holy water gather to establish their evil rules and kill the good in the world brought by Christ (ha!). The way the place and time of the meetings are communicated must be found by every dark satanist who is thus forced to acquire divinatory powers or undertake an arduous task. The arduous task consists in listening to all the Deicide albums backward in chronological order (just like an inverted cross) because even though the music has been the same for almost twenty years, Glenn's black magic ensures that each time he says something different in his records. I, a true nasty and angry dark satanist, almost cruel, and above all very sheep-like, did it and discovered where they gathered. I was tired of waiting for Glenn to reincarnate in my slices of bread or having to find him hiding under the rug slaughtering rabbits, so I told myself that if Satan doesn’t go to the metalhead, the metalhead goes to Satan. What I found in front of me was a majestic, imposing yet also friendly and approachable Glenn Benton: in short, a true gentleman satanist but still always wicked and anti-Christian.
1 Why did you choose Turin for the meeting of the black, wicked, very smelly of sulfur stench and lethally evil Satanism gang, and Christians upside down?
You must know that Turin is a city that is 104% evil, meaning that out of one hundred people, one hundred and four are truly bad and evil; you have the privilege of seeing your father fired at forty, you have the privilege of seeing the municipality desecrate the graves instead of us and swap the corpses, you, even if you didn't want to, would be a true evil satanist very dark and diabolic. Under Turin, there is the Turin of evil, the Turin of the night, the Turin of the escorts, my Turin and of my companion with whom I always walk the lord Satan, sire of evil and arch-enemy of good (here he closes his eyes and spreads his arms as if to charge up with evil energy, but then I find out he just had to fart). Only one place is more evil than Turin but to get there I have to take a plane, and I don’t want to go near God, or the bathyscaphe that makes me feel closer to the God of evil: that place is Capri which, as you can tell from the name, is full of black goats (laughs) that we can kill, and then we rip flowers and chant in chorus "Vesuvius erupt evil from the depths of the Abyss!" (laughs idiotically and I laugh idiotically too).
2 You've reached over fifteen years of career as a bassist; when will you learn to play the bass?
At first, my father (bless his soul) always told me that an instrument could channel my bad thoughts; then when he gifted me the bass, he changed his mind because the bass is my bad thoughts. In those strings, I hear the tendons of Lucifer and the voice of the fallen angels, and as is known, when one falls, it’s not like they scream in Slap. The bass, as its name implies, is low in the sense that it’s close to Satan of hell and fire, and I set my bass on fire after concerts because that’s how I make libations to Satan only that the smoke is so bad that instead of rising to heaven, it descends and impregnates the earth (he then confesses that he burns them because after the concerts they are in such a bad shape that nothing else could be done with them). Moreover, to learn to play the bass couldn’t I beat up Dani Filth (laughs heartily)?
3 I saw several familiar faces tonight: who are your best friends of Satan and enemies of the God who sickens the world with goodness and that when you rise with Lucifer you will crucify with demonic honey?
Surely Ghaal is one of the most loyal; there in the corner is his bowl for when he mauls Christians and sometimes I have to put the flea collar on him. Imagine that he's so loyal that once he remained crucified upside down for two days without nails and simply with faith in the Demon (widens his eyes in admiration, in fact, he just had to fart again). Then there's also Jack Owen who, as you can see tonight, is dressed in black and not in white like all of us; that's because he's just recently joined Deicide and so he has to do the apprenticeship and then black is slimming (laughs for 5 minutes)
4 Ralph Santolla has brought more melody to Deicide. Do you think future albums will stay in the line of "The Stench of Redemption" or will they return to the style of "Incyrnemalmsteymhn"?
(Laughs again, then tells me he didn't understand the question)
4 Ralph Santolla has brought more melody to Deicide. Do you think future albums will stay in the line of "The Stench of Redemption" or will they return to the style of "Incyrnemalmsteymhn"?
Eh? (starts laughing again)
4 Ralph Santolla has brought more melody to Deicide. Do you think future albums will stay in the line of "The Stench of Redemption" or will they return to the style of "Incyrnemalmsteymhn"?
Ah sorry I didn’t understand; sometimes I get this Risum Sardonicis (his Latin isn’t great, note) that rises directly from Hell. Sometimes though, it’s that I forget to take the citrate and I don’t digest well so my peristaltic wave inverts and I explode in a great Disgorge (laughs fat...oh no, he’s farting again). Our next record I believe will be the heaviest of all (when they say that I always foresee trouble); it will include as a guest the legendary Belial servant of the Devil, Ahchoo! (not a Devil, it was him farting satanically again) who never knew mercy and who infuses me with the malevolent and wicked fluid. From a thematic viewpoint, it will be a concept album: it will talk about the Torture of Christ with contraband cigarettes in a satanic basement in Chile of the mid-seventies (I spend ten minutes trying to explain to him that he should say the seventies or the middle of seventy-five, but there’s no way) and then the conclusion of the whole concept, that is, that Christ should be killed with the electric shock and bottled forever to prevent him from rising to the shitty heaven, is that you need to be satanists and evil otherwise we will kill you all on the day the god of evil returns to torment the fucking world. (eats a snack and farts again)
5 Pierino has three friends and buys six apples paying four dollars: one of the three friends is more likeable to him and he will give him three apples. Knowing that oil will increase by 2.8% and knowing that Pierino is not a satanist, how many goats does his friend kill in a month (assuming he always has a systolic pressure equal to 90)?
Hey!
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