Death Cab For Cutie
We Have The Fact And We're Voting Yes

THE REVIEW

I'm gaining weight, but then again who could think that these Death Cab For Cutie weren't an ultra Grind band with that absolutely terrifying name they have? It's a bit like listening to Godspeed You bla bla bla and hoping for a liberating barrage of Blast Beats. So I went to check out their official website and immediately noticed that the drummer uses an Iron Cobra pedal and then it all became clear to me.

Death Cab For Cutie makes Avantgarde Emo Metal, foolish of me not to have realized it sooner; probably between one song and another live they improvise evil Post-Grind Jams or ruthless Avantgarde Black Metal interludes. I continue to lament my musical incompetence, so great that it didn't allow me to identify in the background noise present on all the songs of this "We Have The Fact And We Are Voting Yes" the ultra-fast Sweeps modulated with a specific frequency that allows them to be disguised to the ears of anyone listening to inferior forms of music. It seems superfluous to state that the only form of music is Metal.

And then damn, fourth track, Lowell, MA, isn't that a syncopation? It hides behind those blatantly Indie/Emo guitars, clean, soft, pi pi pi pi but that's definitely a syncopation or even a 7/8 with alternations of 25/32 PROGRESSIVE PROGRESSIVE PROGRESSIVE AAAAAAAAH. And that little arpeggio at the beginning of "Little Fury Bugs" isn't that Gothic Metal? It's sad, it's slow, it's introspective, it's GOTHIC GOTHIC GOTHIC AAAAAAAAH. Just as at the end "Company Calls" is an excellent example of Power-Progressive where I even seem to spot some triplets of double bass pedal TRRRR TRRRR TRRRR TRRRR. And "Company Calls Epilogue"? Again, an ultra-sad arpeggio, Emo Gothic Avantgarde Progressive Metal.

Yes, gentlemen, this band is Metal, there's no point in hiding it in your collection, you've read this review so you definitely own it, you have a Metal record at home YOU HAVE THE 666 AMONG YOUR RECORDS, URGHHHHH SATAN SATAN URGHHHHH. It's hard to find sour notes in this album; rather it will be the future or recent past of Death Cab For Cutie that will make me ashamed of this CD. Its successor, "Transatlanticism," clearly shows signs of how Death Cab sold out to a Major, thus denaturing (neologism, olé) their Sound. Gone are the Blastbeats on the hi-hat, gone is everything that is Metal, gone, gone. A real shame, truly. Better to remember them when they were ugly, dirty, and mean in this "We Have The Fact And We’re Voting Yes," a half-masterpiece ruined by some not-so-great tracks like "Scientist Studies."