Data East
DragonNinja

1988 A. D.

I will probably never forget it. And this, for a number of reasons. The first, among all, was the absolute prohibition imposed by those I call "mom" and "dad" on frequenting certain places like arcades and/or bars. A prohibition that, frankly, I always ignored even though I was only 8 years old. Secondly, this video game was my FIRST video game. The one that started the adrenaline rush from arcade video games, with a particular preference for beat 'em ups. Third: I don’t know why, but DragonNinja was, at the time, the most crowded game in the bar where I used to hide before going to school and before going home after school (resulting in monstrous delays on the schedule).

I don't even know what arcane force attracted my spirit and body to that game but, damn, I fell in love with it. Everyone around watching while the protagonist was knocking out ninja hordes coming at him.

At that time (and even later) I understood little, also because we had the Japanese version at our disposal in which, at the beginning of the game, a strange man's big face appeared, telling us what orders to follow. All strictly in Japanese.

Well, with these premises, I had to wait a while to understand what the hell I had to do, besides kicking the asses of the countless blue, red, and black ninjas blocking the path of the "Ken Shiro" of the moment (so nicknamed for the ability to expand one's strength to the extreme limits, concentrating the blow into a single powerful deadly punch!!!!!!).

Back to us, the story is very simple. A story that could have inspired a Hollywood-style beat 'em up movie with protagonists like Jean Claude Van Damme and others. Essentially, the president of the U.S.A. ("Ronnie", a clear reference to Ronald Reagan) has been kidnapped by the ninja clan. A mafia clan whose leader is, precisely, DragonNinja (as well as the final boss). Instead of calling in special forces, the SWAT, the army, or the Marines, the White House, as white as it gets ("Omino Bianco", you are a Nerd!!!!), decides to hire two fighters: "Striker" and "Blade" who are practically identical (could they be twins?) and whose only distinguishing feature is the t-shirt (one blue, the other green).

Game playing very, very simple. Essentially, focused on beating up everyone (men, women, dogs) with punches and occasionally with weapons picked up along the way (nunchucks or daggers). And, if you were lucky, you could even grab a drink halfway to recharge some energy, thanks to the equally energetic can of "Coca Cola" (so named by us players).

Side-scrolling game with the only possibility to jump to the lower or upper plane, depending on whether you decided to beat or not be beaten. Very basic gameplay, solely based on the use of two buttons, one for jumping, the other for punching (or kicking, depending on the position. Generally, in the air, kicks flew).

7 levels, infinite chances to die, few to survive, and endless ninjas to beat (among which, besides the useless blue ninjas, there was that bastard shinobi who jumped around like a spring, the girl running frantically back and forth, the red ninja who caught fire, and the dogs, ready to bite your balls and limbs).

7 bosses, each to be faced in a specific manner. The first three were not particularly difficult (to whom we had also given nicknames...). The fat guy who spit fire, the ninja armed with claws at the end of the second stage, while you found yourself on a truck and were attacked by everyone and everything (the background song was epic!). Third level, in the sewers, the final boss was a kind of multiplying ninja who, besides multiplying, could only hope to get a lot of beatings. Once you got the hang of these first 3 levels, you started thinking you were becoming good.

But no, because the real trouble (or rather, "the birds for diabetics", to paraphrase one of the many euphemisms of the legendary Lino Banfi) started from the fourth stage onwards, in the forest, where you met the most dangerous ninjas and, especially, those damn dogs barking and biting you. You couldn't make three steps without dying and, to find a damn can of Coca Cola, you had to go to great lengths! Not to mention the final boss, a kind of underdeveloped bald simpleton covered in armor, almost wanting to imitate Robocop, who screamed like an idiot "Aaah!!!!" at every strike he made. Strike that, if it hit, killed you instantly.

And so on, passing through a "quiet" train car ride, to then find yourself in the caves facing the hateful "dancing boss" (how many curses must have flown to finish him off?) and finally the lair of DragonNinja, in which, besides being full of ninjas and company, you found the bad copies of the final bosses! You had to face them all over again, to then manage to reach the boss of bosses, DragonNinja, who was located atop a helicopter descending and ascending. Boss with an Oni mask and Samurai armor, invincible because his energy level was nearly unlimited while yours was very limited. Not to mention that our hits, when they landed (what luck!), only tickled him; his, on the other hand, were lethal. What a bastard!

How many curses did it take to finally reach that damned final boss and then open up another hole in his behind? I don’t know. Also because the curses could certainly not keep up with the mountain of 200 lira coins feeding the bar’s revenues.

The fact is, I never managed to enjoy the ending until several years later when thanks to MAME32, I found the ROM, loaded it, and told myself: "I'll break you in two!". Thus, finally, enjoying the ending. Idiotic ending, in which, the two "bad boys", after breaking their butts and risking their lives to save their president, received a sort of ceremony and then it was goodbye to all.

But what can you do... Nostalgia is a nice thing and I am a nostalgic person. Even this aura of mystery contributed to building decent fame for the game which, to this day, remains one of the greatest early side-scrolling beat 'em ups ever existed (alongside "Double Dragon" and the lethal "Final Fight", in which, the violence started to become superhuman).

A game that cannot get the highest rating (also because the graphics were pretty dreadful. But it's 1988, what the hell do you expect?). A game that, however, brings back many memories, primarily the one where I could still frequent bars before discovering that every food ingested nowadays can prove to be a lethal weapon. A period when kids were free to roam the streets. A period when games with super-pixels making them seem real and turning kids into couch potatoes and simultaneously more obese than Obelix are now a (trans)past memory.

Everything is very nice. But I'm still not giving you 5 stars....