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"Ninja (??, Ninja?) is a relatively recent Japanese term that indicates a spy of feudal Japan (from 1185 to about 1868). The ninja is by definition an expert in military techniques of strategy and intelligence that are known as ninjutsu and have a long history.
"Ninja" is the “on” reading of the two kanji ?? used to write shinobi-no-mono (???, shinobi-no-mono?) a native Japanese term used to describe a person who practiced ninjutsu. Among the synonyms of ninja there are the terms kanja (??, kanja?), shinobi (?, shinobi?) and shinobi no mono (???, shinobi no mono?). During the Tokugawa era, the term Oniwaban (???, Oniwaban?) or "garden keeper" of the shogunal residence also became synonymous with a spy. According to some fictional sources, female spies would have been called kunoichi (???, kunoichi?), a pun referring to the graphic character for "woman" (onna (?, onna?)) and also has other meanings." (from "Wikipedia")
Thus begins the review of this video game, which appeared in arcades and bars, around the nineties (specifically in 1991), just to make it clear that this has absolutely nothing to do with the Ninja!
Having made this necessary clarification, it is equally necessary to say that this game contributed, in a very exponential way, to forge my abilities, both in swearing and in inventing new curses that I will not list here.
It's impossible not to fall in love with the game, impossible to avoid "continuing" with the damn tokens of which I made a considerable stock (costing about 200-250 lire), and impossible, finally, not to curse when the caveman of the turn would die due to the beatings (in the strictest sense of the word) received from the enemy (also a caveman and, sometimes, a dinosaur) while you watched the soul of the newly deceased protagonist, with wings and everything, leave this world under a very macabre funeral march soundtrack that, at the same time, made everything too hilarious.
Yes, because "Caveman Ninja" (also known as "Joe & Mac - Caveman Ninja" or "Stone Age") was certainly the most fun, zany, and adventurous video game I happened to play.
Breath-taking adventures awaited the two cavemen, forced to retrieve their abducted "beautiful cavewomen" taken by bearded enemies, with a club and all. But our heroes were not ordinary cavemen. They were much more. They were true NINJA, experts in the most archaic and primitive ninjutsu (such as body multiplication, handed down from generation to generation, until reaching the village of Konoa; a technique learned from the well-known ninja Naruto Huzumaki, the "Body Multiplication Technique").
Equipped with rather primitive weapons, such as subspecies of hammers for Joe and, respectively, bones for Mac, the hateful stone daggers, stone wheels, fire, boomerangs, electric shocks, sharp rocks, and even clones (real anthropomorphic heat-seeking missiles, the aforementioned "Body Multiplication Technique"), our heroes had to face tough times, along a truly challenging path, populated by dinosaurs of all kinds (from mini-tyrannosaurs who, once taken, cry and go to call their mom who, for sure, will not let you off easy), to the damn pterodactyls which, I don't know how or why, were equipped with stones they carried with their legs, ready to drop on Joe and Mac's heads, to carnivorous plants that spit deadly and fiery seeds (but seriously, what more did you want? Who said that in the Stone Age they got bored?), finishing with the stupid bearded cavemen who would beat you as soon as you looked them in the eye.
And it all took place in "only" 5 levels. Why the quotes? Because finishing those "only" 5 levels was quite an arduous task, in fact, it was one of the various "Mission: Impossible", given the endless number of enemies and obstacles that our Caveman Ninja had to face.
Rough terrains, sudden earthquakes, suspended bridges that promised nothing good, aquatic adventures, and, the icing on the cake, 4 crossroads to choose from when one of the 5 levels was completed (actual the level didn't end automatically with the end of the adventure, but the "stage gaming" was long enough with a crossroads, just to complicate things even more, perhaps choosing the more difficult one so as to die even before starting the new "stage").
What can I say... the game was based on a really simple gameplay, that is, the classic "shoot and/or jump", with the possibility to power up the weapon of the moment (your own ninjutsu) by holding down the "fire" button, allowing our hero's arm to twirl to the maximum effort, then launching his super-powered weapon to destroy as many enemies as possible. Additionally, multiplayer game potential was offered (playing with two people at the same time, side by side, with the drawback of seeing the number of enemies and obstacles tripled).
Final level... An enormous and really angry T-Rex, with enemies that you had to face simultaneously. Once the T-Rex fell you scream: "it's over!!!". And instead, no! Because, the real final level is inside the T-Rex, that is, inside its belly! Where everything happens, from fire meteors, volcanoes, the usual pterodactyls, carnivorous plants, and cavemen (but what the hell were they doing inside a Tyrannosaurus's belly all these things? Mbah... mysteries of the Stone Age to which not even the most well-known archaeologists have been able to find answers).
The truly fantastic thing about "Caveman Ninja" was the animation, based on the "cartoon" style. The characters’ expressions, their "moves", the spinning arm that if you spun too much you saw the caveman exhausted risking a serious bop. And every time the end-of-level monster appeared, the two cavemen didn't spare the scream "AAAAAHHH!!!!!" with eyes popping out of their sockets! And the enemies, when beaten, would flee crying (just like the baby dinosaurs), while the carnivorous plants perish with a brutal "bleah.....".
In short... a well-crafted mix of "cartoon-style" drawings, adventures on the edge of absurdity, incredible zaniness and so much, very much, rampant adventure that made this game, a legendary Game (deliberately capitalized), impossible to finish with just one token, even when you became very skilled.
I conclude by thanking the inventors of arcade emulators (Mame32 & Co.) that have allowed me to relive it and enjoy, not THE ending, but THE 3 ALTERNATIVE AND DIFFERENT ENDINGS that, once the last level, you had to choose. And not always, the ending, is as beautiful as often hoped, especially after spending a ton of tokens on "continues"....
Nostalgically, as I am, I greatly miss those times. The times of 200 lire and tokens.... Impossible not to give it the highest marks.
Sayonara!
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