Dark Polo Gang
Trap Lovers

So far, the Dark Polo Gang had always made me feel good. The other day, however, I felt bad, precisely the moment I pressed 'play' on their new album (the first one after Side's departure) and that awful mess of 'Cambiare adesso' started blasting from my computer speakers. "What is this autotune, this emo-like text with all precise rhymes, these minor key chords to leverage on a super artificial and fake melancholy?" I immediately thought. The fact is, I started to vomit hard, very hard, a bit out of desperation but mostly out of real disgust, the same kind you feel when your friend, whom you thought pure at heart, goes and kisses the ass of the first slimy entrepreneur he comes across ("c'mon bro, it's time to settle, don't hold it against me").

With an immense willpower, of which I still can't understand, I wanted to continue listening, hoping that the old DPG, kitsch and totally disconnected, would emerge from this polished, lacquered version of theirs [add any adjective you want, as long as it's derogatory]; this custom-made version for the average Italian guy, you know, the one who reads Rolling Stone, watches the game on Sundays, has a daughter who does dance, and a son who says every day "Dad, when I grow up, I'll be a footballer." But nothing, absolutely nothing. Even the supposedly upbeats songs (at least in intentions) sent me into a dramatic down, and the only thing making me feel alive was the stomach cramps. A real hell, the bouts of vomiting became more frequent and violent to the point I almost risked dying from dehydration.

Then I went to the kitchen to drink some ginger juice, and I felt significantly better. If you understood why then you're in the right place, otherwise, I don't think you've understood a damn thing about the point of this review, and frankly, I don't even know why you’re still reading this, oh well.