Dario Argento
La Terza Madre

Watching "The Mother of Tears" by Dario Argento on October 31st for Halloween is the most banal and obvious thing one could do on this ill-fated day, and never was an evening so.

Let's say that for 70% of the film the story holds up, a film also acceptable if it weren't for “those” actors acting: Asia is unbearable to watch (also in a broad sense, and those who consider her a sex-symbol should be quiet. Yes, she has big breasts and the face of a rebellious-pig-woman-who-loves-it-so-much, but she has her father's cloned face! The only difference is he doesn't have hair). Almost worse than Bellucci, but I'll stop here: it's useless to continue harping on.
I was talking about the plot. It holds for most of the film, you just need to:
A) Pretend that what you're watching is acted differently
B) The computer effects are actually more beautiful than what you see
C) It's not Baby-doll thrown from the bridge, but a real baby.

Aside from these technical details, I could easily conclude this sort of summary and not at all objective review here:.
Nothing, I'm sorry, NOTHING, ABSOLUTE ZERO!

I'll briefly mention the plot, otherwise I’ll internalize it:
There's this third mother (Morian Atias, naturally all naked… it goes without saying, otherwise what would the transgressive charge be?!), so powerful that she keeps the dead alive to use them as servants, and she has this little power robe on.
They all move in the catacombs.
There's a policeman who's just had a spear thrust between his ribs and pectoral, lifting it away, and he's chained to the wall.
Then Asia arrives, a sort of detective between Selen and Ginko, there’s a bit of a scuffle, then Mater Lacrimarum being worshiped by her followers.
Liters of fake blood end up on Asia who recovers, takes the spear, and in one blow strips off the red robe, throwing it into the brazier.
The witch screams "Nooooooo, slut, noooooo!", and an earthquake erupts.
Only Asia manages to escape (after all… children are pieces of heart!!). Meanwhile, one of the house's towers collapses, goes tip-first into the ground, rotates 90 degrees, and lodges in the witch's belly, nailing her to the wall.
As Asia escapes, the policeman arrives and they exit together from an Oedipal hole, in a completely computer-generated scenario, and he no longer has a drop of blood on him, but his clothes are torn with large cut-out holes.
They start laughing. And a big "whatever" seals it all-

Spontaneous questions to Dario after watching the film:
1) Why do you keep throwing your daughter's boobs at us in every film?.
2) What does that scene mean where a woman takes in her teeth the tail (or is it shit?) that comes out of another woman's ass?
3) Why relentlessly and repetitively dwell on killings, tortures, and abuses citing yourself for the past 30 years?
4) Why in the ending scene instead of Asia bathing in the verminous decay (like Connelly in "Phenomena") didn't you use Connelly herself (who is 1000 times hotter than your daughter, has spectacular boobs and besides… she really acts!)?

In summary: the basic story wouldn't even be that bad and there were interesting elements too… it's a pity, however, that everything was thwarted by sloppy, outdated, and I dare say “tired” direction, poor actors, and a screenplay that often limps inconsistently.

Another good opportunity lost for Italy's Master of Horror for a great comeback...