Danny Cannon
Goal!

Pippo Franco: "Papà, me vonno ammazzà!", Mario Carotenuto: "... e fanno bene! Tu sei laziale, GIUDA! SBEM!", Gigi Reder: "GIUDA! SBEM!", Carotenuto: "Lassa perde er mi fijo sporco laziale!", Reder: "Ma perché è tu fijo!?" Carotenuto: "Sì!", Reder: "Bella razza de cornuti! Cornuti sì, cornuti!...". Here comes a chaotic and farcical brawl that will pit Lazio fans against Roma fans.

This scambio di vedute poco urbano, featuring Mario Carotenuto and Gigi Reder as, respectively, the father and father-in-law of Pippo Franco, following the discovery of Franco's double-crossing fandom due to external pressures, is one of the iconic scenes from this episode of the film "L'Arbitro, il Tifoso e il Calciatore". The Canà (Lino Banfi in "L'Allenatore nel Pallone"), the Fulgencio (Leo Gullotta in "Mezzo Destro, Mezzo Sinistro, due calciatori senza pallone"), the Cotechino (Alvaro Vitali in "Paulo Roberto Cotechino Centravanti di sfondamento"), absolute protagonists of our '80s trashy soccer cinema, had a notable sportive-cultural importance in my development as a fan; something that allowed me not to be fascinated by this spectacular film called "Goal!", fortunately.

If the films by various Banfi & Co. were the simple and extreme expression of the yet uncontaminated life of the time, "Goal!" instead is the real reflection of today's society and football: elements from which one can no longer escape in certain environments, are now ambition, showbiz, glamour, and ostentation. Football where even a Gattuso is not okay with living the life of a defensive midfielder. A Gattuso perfectly at ease in the role of the tough and pure-hearted idiot from Calabria, but who is also very much a masculine sex symbol. Something permissible, by today's standards. Unfortunately, Banfi also succumbed to the temptation to modernize his old footballing creation, with fashionable outfits, resulting in disgraceful outcomes. Sometimes it's better to live in people's memories, keeping Nonno D'Italia's mustache, every season has its own, rather than creating useless revivals - por dinero - only useful to generate a feeling of pity towards the protagonists of the glories that were. "Goal!" instead is the first film of a trilogy featuring Santiago Munez, a young American of Mexican origin with a strong passion for football. As if he were Hugo Sanchez. A film with suffocating sheen, filled with very trendy clichés: the modern fairy tale of the talented young boy but with some health problems that could jeopardize his career, growing up in a tough neighborhood, openly clashing with a stern father not thrilled about his son’s passion, who eventually "makes it", getting catapulted into the big leagues. Sticking to football, the fact that it's a typical Hollywood film, garnished with flashy plays from Pro Evolution Soccer, should cause skepticism among football enthusiasts on this side of the ocean. Munez (played by Kuno Becker) plays in the suburban fields of Los Angeles. In one of these matches, he will be noticed by a former Newcastle player, who proposes that the young man follow him to England. Nunez is torn: on the one hand, the desire to conquer the homeland of Soccer (brrrr), on the other, he doesn't want to leave his precarious family (his mother abandoned him, leaving him, his brother, Santiago's father, and his grandmother) with the risk of breaking the little relationship he has with his father. Munez decides to go nonetheless, literally running away from home. In England, he’ll face various difficulties: primarily environmental, he struggles to be accepted even in Newcastle's reserve squad, and to make matters worse, he has a form of asthma that theoretically prevents him from playing football, and of course, he keeps it a secret from the medical staff. In all these new experiences for young Munez, there's also room for a relationship he'll develop with one of the medical staff nurses. But life is hard, morale is low, and the consideration from Newcastle's coach is nearly non-existent. Santiago contemplates returning to America, when news arrives from the States about his father's death (who, in the meantime, without giving satisfactions, had grown proud of that son, after seeing him on TV while playing), and his grandmother, in a burst of pride, advises her grandson to try and persevere. Our protagonist will be taken under the wing of Gavin Harris, Newcastle's star striker. Gavin is a disdainful, self-assured, egocentric but harmless type, a George Best of the 2000s. Besides acting as a mentor to the young American, he will introduce him to the "right" circles through parties. Santiago starts to find his stride, and finally, on the last day of the Premier League, he will collect his rewards...

If I rate this film as a two, the next installment gets a one. But I wanted to review it to baptize the new season upon us and because the purchase of an American by my team keeps me awake at night.... Especially considering his poor pre-season. Happy new season to everyone, we're restarting...

Remember: better a coffee at the Forza Lupi bar of Carotenuto than a poolside drink in Harris's villa... Better Massimo Palanca than Munez...