Cradle Of Filth
The Principle Of Evil Made Flesh

THE REVIEW

Now, just to inaugurate my subscription to the site, I will do a review on a horrible, useless, overrated, and absolutely fake band: Cradle Of Filth. The work I'm reviewing is their first album, 'The Principle of Evil Made Flesh' from '94....

Let me start by saying: yes, I am a black metaller, but with an open mind (I also listen to punk... and by punk, I mean Exploited, G.G. Allin, and Ramones, definitely not Green Day and other crap), so any comment on my mentality's narrowness is, and should be considered, bullshit.

"... Listen to it, they do Black Metal!" These were the fateful words with which this horrible platter was lent to me. You borrow it and listen to it. You listen to the first track, then the second, and you feel like taking the CD and shutting it (unfortunately not throwing it away, since it wasn't mine) and erasing forever from your life this crap passed off as extreme music. But you don't. Since someone you know lent it to you, you listen to it. The CD finishes and you listen to it again. And then, when those damn 50 minutes x2 are over, you finally have clear ideas: Cradle of Filth suck.

It is not an idea or a theory, but an unyielding, monumental certainty and almost grotesque in its gigantic dimensions. Because this album is absolutely banal. The only things that can be salvaged are the drums and the keyboards. The riffs (a pale euphemism of a riff) are the most banal and vulgar thing a human being could listen to in the realm of black metal: even Dimmu Borgir aren't at this pathetic level! The solos are really disgusting (give us back Euro and Nödtveidt!!!!!). We can overlook the bass lines because in black metal (even if this CD doesn't fall into the category), they are often left in the background by everyone, but I must dwell on the vocals. The voice of this dwarf (it seems the original name of the band was supposed to be "Blanca Baker (the drummer) and the seven dwarfs"... this was bullshit, but it fit the context :-)) barely 1.20 meters tall has a scream that sounds like my professor's screams... objectively, it's just unlistenable. My growl and my scream are certainly 1000 times better than this useless voice that sounds like a baby's cry.

Dulcis in fundo, shall we talk about the lyrics and the attitude? So, the lyrics are created along the lines of 'Stainthorpe' poems from My Dying Bride... only Stainthorpe's are actual poems. These, however, are a copy-paste of poorly assembled 19th-century writings, even worse interpreted. Stuff that compared to which Ramones’ lyrics are the quintessence of genius. And the attitude? "What attitude?", the possible true metaller reading this review will reply. Because there has never been an attitude in Cradle Of Filth. Because this is the quintessence of the false. Because black metal is, above all, emotion, and in this CD, there is no trace of it.

This is the album. Justifying the band's sound with the adjective "symphonic" is worth little. Even Emperor make symphonic black metal, yet they create masterpieces. I honestly advise you not to buy it. And I also beg you not to call it black metal, because by doing so, you are destroying Norwegian cemeteries, making the true black metaller deceased turn in their graves.

Rating 3.5