Cows
Sexy Pee Story

Since my previous review of the Cows went almost unnoticed (also because it was poorly written), I decided to write a masterpiece to do justice to these unknown amphetamine heroes.
They're geniuses, how can you deny it? Okay, the album title seems to be written by a baby (and it probably is) but here we're talking about MUSIC, for goodness' sake! By the way, the cover is the most stupid I've ever seen; actually, no, the image on the back is even worse! Music, we were saying: did you know that at concerts the singer would do flying kicks to the front row and, dressed as a woman, hand out toy trumpets to the audience?
Well, now that we've talked about music, let's move on to something else.

Crooked NOISE ROCK labeled Amphetamine Reptile, that's what the Cows offer! And they are the best at it, light-years ahead of Helmet, TAR, Chokebore, Unsane, Today Is The Day, Lubricated Goat, and the other fantastic bands from the Minneapolis label (personal opinion, don't hate me too much for this). I admit it, I love them madly; and they are mad, MAD!
The point of reference is the blues, filtered through hardcore; blues accelerated beyond any limit, buried in furious, unrestrained bacchanals, ridiculed, made serious to the point of self-parody, and fundamentally scarred by every other possible excess. Influences? Butthole Surfers, Big Black, Black Flag immediately come to "ear". The singing style is very personal and energetic, and the guitars… well. Unfortunately, I've never seen them live, but legends speak of a guitarist beyond any canon: bends obtained by directly turning the tuning pegs, impossible tunings, and certainly not a virtuoso technique, but one that doesn't remotely recall any conventional way of playing the instrument. As far as I'm concerned, he might be playing randomly and that's just fantastic!!

Ah, the album is one of the most serious and dark of their career, would you have said that judging by the cover?
Highlights include the explosive hardcore of "Blown", the slow-motion sonic chaos of "CH" with spine-tingling surges, the beautiful and almost-melodic "Mrs. Cancelled", as good as "Mr. Cancelled" on Cunning Stunts. There's also a cover of "39 Lashes" from Jesus Christ Superstar: do you remember the 39 lashes? The Cows wrap them in an ominous madness with one of their most devastating sonic mayhems.

If you're not ashamed to have a record whose cover depicts a bird sticking its beak into a sexy-butt, you must absolutely own it (not the butt, the album... what did you think?)
- Alright, where do I buy it? - you'll be asking a group of anonymous passersby.
- DARN, IT’S OUT OF PRINT!