Chris Stuckmann
Shelby Oaks - Il Covo del Male

Maybe I've learned a lesson: the more unsettling a movie poster is, the more likely the film itself will turn out to be watered-down soup. It’s not the first time this has happened.

It’s a pity, because this Shelby Oaks has all the ingredients to be a terrifying horror: Youtuber Riley Brennan and her team, the Paranormal Paranoids, disappear in the ghost town of Shelby Oaks; the point is that, while the horribly disfigured bodies of the other three are found, there’s still no trace of Riley. The film’s protagonist, her older sister Mia (Camille Sullivan), senses that paranormal curses aren’t just an abstraction, says “screw the police,” and starts investigating on her own. Since it blends analog horror and mockumentary elements into a more conventional structure, this movie had enormous potential, but wastes it badly: there’s little gore, even fewer scares, until boredom kicks in. Simply bland, truly bland, like waffles without syrup: one of those films where you keep hoping something breathtaking will happen, only for the end credits to start rolling.

An independent production funded on Kickstarter, Shelby Oaks marks the directorial debut of Chris Stuckmann, a well-known Youtuber (his channel features hundreds of movie reviews) and accredited film critic: perhaps proof that knowing an extra page from someone else’s movie book doesn’t help much when it comes to making your own? Sullivan is the undisputed lead, she does her best and tries to carry the film almost single-handedly, but more than once I felt her acting was forced. Her performance, the poster, the blaring music: everything is there just to shout to the viewer, “Hey look, this is some real pants-shitting stuff!” Well, that’s not the case. This is a confused horror film, and full of clichés to boot.

Would I recommend it to anyone? I’d say no, unless you’re after an atmospheric horror with no real scares. I appreciated the cameo by Aussie Emma from Spooky Astronauts, but that’s not enough to make the grade. A salad when you’re on a diet is more satisfying.

Finally, I’d point out that Shelby Oaks had its premiere at the 2024 Fantasia International Film Festival, but it’s only just arrived in our cinemas. Slipping out the back door, so to speak.