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The album I'm about to pre-review is surely unknown to many, if not all. It is "Basame El Cueo" by Catarrhal Noise. Catarrhal Noise is a metal band with lyrics in the dialect of the Venetian hinterland, very vulgar and rustic.
Their philosophy is that of "rujo", but there are no words to translate it accurately into Italian: "raw" might give an idea, but it would be like calling a violent fuck an "effusion". The Catarrhal Noise is well known in Veneto (they even opened a concert for Anthrax), and when their discography appeared while searching them in the DeBaser database, I realized they were fairly famous, and I could write a review about them.
"Basame El Cueo" opens with "intro". A few seconds of words in tight Venetian dialect. The second song is fantastic: "Rimini Riccione Portogruaro". A song that gets stuck in your head after the first listen, and you end up singing endlessly. After 3 minutes, the song doesn't end. It continues with "La Rubrica Dell'Agricoltore Agricolo". LEGENDARY! A track where they pretend to be DJs of a farming radio and start giving absurd advice. Yes, because in Catarrhal Noise's CDs, besides their nonsense metal, there are actually comic sketches that fit perfectly in the album.
After this delirium, "No Toca Bilico". A nonsense song where they repeatedly say the phrase "No Toca Bilico" (which makes f***ing sense, but at least it has some) along with other phrases, always culminating in a scream from the singer. "Tatiana" is one of the best songs on the album, where they talk about Tatiana, of course, and all her flaws (example: "..when she farts, she sounds like a tractor, when she goes to the toilet, she uses the extinguisher..."). The song often changes style, from almost Italian light music it switches often to metal. "Espresso Moka" is as nonsensical as the others, but instead of metal, it's a kind of ska without brass.
"Cecchinato" is another of those sketches I mentioned before. In this one, they talk about a hardware store where you can find sandpaper to wipe your ass, a septic tank maintenance company, and a somewhat creepy restaurant... "Col soriso" (yes, with just one S) is an escalation of absurd misfortunes (example: ..my car broke down in the center of Venice..." which is impossible), and they suggest embracing it with a smile.
"Guioni" on the other hand is a collection of insults because they made the peppered wrong. "L'Amatriciana" is practically nonsense country-metal as always, where they come up with tons of bullshit, yet it's extremely fun. "Toni Bancae" is fantastic. It returns to metal and talks about this Toni Bancae and his tractor antics. "Sergio" is a slow song, like light music. In this very nonsensical song, they talk about a bit of everything, mainly nonsense. But it is beautiful and creates an atmosphere. "A bagagliera" talks about a modified car with a trunk he uses to pick up prostitutes. "Te te ricordi" is fantastic! Absolutely nonsensical, they talk about boobs but in a slightly hidden way. So instead of saying boobs, they say "...te te te grosse, te te te telefono, te te te ricordi?"
The final song "Buso Pa Merda". Still extremely nonsensical and meaningless. I am sure everyone will despise this review, but this is the least one can do to explain "Basame El Cueo".
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