Bobby Gaylor
Suicide

"Animals don't have a choice..." 

We do, though. If we don't like the turn our life has taken, our place in the world, we can "disconnect" whenever we want.
Yeah, suicide.
Animals aren't allowed to think about it. But if they were. . . zebras, for example, might look at each other and then be like: "What the heck!
Black and white in a green and brown world. . . what a mess. . .
I don't even have a thumb to hold a gun, a knife, or to open a bottle of pills.
Screw it, I'm diving into the next lion's mouth I meet, and to hell with the rest!"

Some people say: "ooooh, it's against the law," or others say "we should save them"
Well, not everyone wants to be saved. Not everyone SHOULD be saved.
And then, who are we to impose our will on them?
I mean, isn't that one of the joys of being a man? The freedom of choice?
Now, I'm not saying "kill yourself."
But if you're an idiot, and you're going to do it anyway, it's none of my business.
Not all bad things happen to harm us. . .

For example, a job position will open up. . .
an apartment will become available. . .
they say there are 2 girls for every guy. . . if you're a guy, there'll be four chicks for me. . .
you'll never get AIDS. . .
you won't have to worry about calories anymore. . .

No more "Hey, does this make me look fat?"
You won't have to recycle anymore. . .
There'll be one less car on the roads. . .
You won't be forced to visit your grandparents on Sundays anymore. . .
No more church. . .
You'll say "Hey world, kiss my ass!"
No more wet dreams about models. . .
Asking "Am I a loser?" will be a thing of the past. . .
You'll say "bye-bye" to lousy gifts from uncles and aunts. . . .
Adios, Acne. . .
See you, homework. . .
School will be closed forever. . .
No more bills. . .

But you'll miss Mc Donald's fries. . .
Bugs Bunny. . .
The thrilling sensation that invades your body when you kiss someone for the first time. . .
Candy. . .
Living with your head in the clouds. . .
You'll miss the day you get your first apartment. . .
The moment when you say to your parents "Screw you! I have to make my own mistakes! You made yours. . . "
You'll miss sex. . . you'll miss thinking about sex, searching for sex, sex alone, with a partner, with more partners. . .
No more summer nights that seem to last forever. . .
Naming your child the name you always wanted to give them. . .
Making a difference in the world. . .
You'll miss hallucinogens. . .
Watching your neighbor's wife change with the blinds open. . .
Masturbation. . .
Music, you'll definitely miss music. . .
Trying to sneak into the house drunk, three hours after your curfew. . .
If you're a guy, you'll miss the feeling you get when you take off a girl's shirt for the first time. . .
If you're a girl, you'll miss the feeling you get when you take off a guy's pants for the first time. . .
You'll miss your favorite coat. . .
You'll miss the feeling when you think back to your first love - 30 years later. . .
The joy of giving and receiving at Christmas. . .
Skinny dipping. . .
Beating your friends at video games. . .
Flying cars. . .

Hey, you were born, finish what you started!