AA.VV.
Roma Caput Glam Fest @ Jailbreak 25.01.09

The train to Rome leaves at 9:30, after I had stayed up until 4:30 the previous night. Wake up at 8. Pack my suitcase. Leave at 8:45 for the Orvieto station. Arrive in Rome at 10:15. I stay with my girlfriend until about 5 pm. I go back to my place. I dress in glam attire: leather pants, a blue polka dot shirt (see the video of Knockin' on Heaven's Door by Gn'R, 1991, Duff McKagan's shirt), outrageous earrings, bracelets, and necklaces. Two major oversights: my fuchsia hair didn't come out right, and I forgot my black nail polish at home. A chain to attach to my pants wouldn't have been bad either. At 7:30 pm, about 2 hours late because he got lost around 16 times, he arrives.

Just before 8 pm, we set off, but even though we know the way, we go the wrong direction for the Jailbreak. We ask for directions. A guy around 30 who was supposed to defend his thesis the next day takes us along and tells us about when he went to Jailbreak drunk to see an Iron Maiden cover band (!). Once we get to the right stop of the 163 bus, we ask for directions again. A woman sends us in the wrong direction again (some people just have a knack for that!). At that point, we wonder ""Since when did we start listening to women?" We head back. We walk for what feels like miles until we finally find ""a road that seems only cars drive on"" (Iron Maiden guy style).

We finally find the civic number 870. Jailbreak. We enter around 8:45 pm. We shell out 15 euros for entry and 2 for the cloakroom. We are met with a show of teased hair, leopard print leggings, fishnet shirts, and miniskirts (in the TRUE sense of the word). Beer No. 1. Around 9:45 pm (wow, the concert was supposed to start at 8:30 pm!) a cool group starts playing with a lame singer dressed as a judge from the 1800s doing cover songs (of Queen) alternating with their own tracks. They would be good if not for the lame singer. After about twenty minutes and receiving around four rounds of applause, they leave. Beer No. 2. The S.E.X. Department arrives. We move closer to the stage. They start playing. I don't know a single song. My friend knows one. At every intermission, the singer throws in English phrases interspersed every two syllables with FUCKIN'! and MOTHERFUCKIN'!. My friend wonders ""weren't they Italian?" We conclude that the singer is obviously drunk (NO TE SEE MBRIACO! cit.). Another friend arrives with his girlfriend and a friend of hers. Beer No. 3. Towards the end of Unknown Song 6, the singer remembers he was born in a boot-shaped country and says ""we are the sex department d*o can! they tried to relegate us to industries (??), but we do sleaze rock and roll, d*o can! not like those four negroes who do hip hop, d*o can!". General applause. They play another handful of songs while I, my friend who arrived later (from now on we'll call him Pucci for privacy reasons), and the two women go outside (I for a breath of fresh air, they to smoke).

We go back and the first friend (from now on we'll call him hav0c) says ""GUYS YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT I WENT TO PEE WITH FASTER PUSSYCAT!", and I ask where the bathroom is since I'm about to pee myself. In the bathroom, I chat with someone complaining that the humidity flattens his teased hair. An exhilarating experience. I leave the bathroom and find them talking with the Sex Department's singer. First, hav0c takes a picture. Then Pucci and I do. In the photo with Pucci and me, you can see he has a small bottle of water in hand. Suddenly he realizes and says ""OH NO NOT WATER D*O CAN! Don't say I turned to water d*o can! We are Venetians, only wine d*o can!" and walks away. We conclude that the Sex Department is cool and they are truly rock and roll with that Motorhead-like attitude we like. Then the The Guestz play, presenting themselves as the hosts since they're Romans from Rome. The singer looks a bit like Alice Cooper, too bad they (seemingly) have 30 years per leg. Good, but they don't impress us much. We all go for beer No. 4. After some soundcheck and going outside again, Beautiful Creatures starts. What stands out immediately is that they're all quite round, especially the bassist, who looks like a ball. I decree him as the Character of the Evening. The drummer looks like a Misfit. The singer starts dedicating songs to the blondes in the front row. The concert flows enjoyably, I sing at the top of my lungs the songs I know, KICK OUT KICK OUT KICK OUT KICK OUT, I'VE BEEN WAITIN SO LOOONG I'VE MADE UP MY MIIIND ALL OF THIS TIME WASTED!, and I'm truly Wasted by the end. Midway through, Pucci and the women leave (guess what? Because of the women! =D). Nevertheless, hav0c and I go for beer No. 5. They finish, and regardless of what comes next, I'm already happy to have come.

The Bang Tango enters. We realize they are made up of the same people as Beautiful Creatures. We decree that it's a bummer, and in fact, besides playing few songs, they're not great either. They slip away. Shortly after, Faster Pussycat enters. I'd been told they were in bad shape, but I didn't think to these levels. Everyone, except the guitarist, is in lousy condition. In particular, Taime Downe looks like a cross between Marilyn Manson and Platinette. Indeed, from the start, the audience is quite cold. They don't even try to warm up the environment. They start with tracks from their latest albums, which, frankly, suck. The concert picks up a bit when they start with classic tracks, they do Bathroom Wall, Babylon, Sex Drugs Rock n' Roll, we all sing together by candlelight during House of Pain, an applause breaks out when the bassist starts the chorus Hey Ho Let's Go!. But overall, it's certainly not a memorable concert. After playing, they leave without even saying goodbye. The audience grumbles. "BASTARDS!" many shout. "BASTARDS!" shouts hav0c. We retrieve our jackets from the coatroom.

It's about 2:30 am. We go to the bus stop. We wait for the night bus No. 2, which last time made us wait an hour at the stop. This time it comes right away. We get home. It's 3:15 am. The next day there's class. Me at 8:00 in Rome. He has to leave for Siena. Tomorrow is another day.