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Rating: The 70s were hell for the horror genre, considering all those trashy Italian productions with zombies, killers, and whores. But there's one of these that crosses the line of indecency and is one of those rare "masterpieces" that manages to get EVERYTHING WRONG!
Acting, plot, music... all wrong!
The film is directed by the famous painter and former member of the Ku Klux Klan, Andrea Bianchi, the wonderful makeup is by the potter Rosario Prestopino, and the screenplay was written by the superb Piero Regnoli. But why dwell on it, you might ask? Simple, when you complete the viewing of this masterpiece, you'll be overcome with an irresistible desire to thank them all for giving us this gem that Uganda still envies us (they have this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyfEVphpYKU).
The plot revolves around an archaeologist's incredible discovery in an Etruscan necropolis where he accidentally awakens zombies that, thanks to some strange magical power, have survived. Some friends and colleagues arrive at the professor's villa, including a lecherous man with a mustache ("You look like a whore"), people making strange noises while they kiss (they sound like orgasms:-D), and ambiguous children, like the "little" Michael. No, not the one from Mary Poppins, but a strange boy who's scary just to look at. But there's something wrong here...
mmmh, let's try looking it up on Wikipedia...
and then I find out the actor was 33 years old and had dwarfism...
Andrea Bianchi was ahead of everyone, no doubt...
But who cares, let's take a look at these zombies! So, they're obviously wearing masks, dressed like patients in nursing homes, moving at 2 kilometers per hour... wow, how scary! Furthermore, they break down a damn door with a tree trunk, decapitate the maid with a meat cleaver after pinning her hand with a nail... pure artistic bliss, folks!
But even worse are the human reactions in front of these shoddinesses. I mean, if I see one of these things, I'd run instantly, but Mr. Bianchi intuited the concept of "Bullet time" years before those filthy copycats the Wachowskis made it mainstream with The Matrix.
A blatant example is when one of the protagonists is cornered by zombies that slowly, quietly approach him. Will he run?
In reality, the man cannot make such an effort being cornered by 3...4... of those things, even having a gun, which he uses wisely to threaten the living dead, but the action is so slow and clever that the effect is achieved. Brilliant, no?
Or when the zombie emerges from the ground, it does so calmly.....ahhhh....a nice chamomile.....a cup of tea....
Well, after 4 days of labor, it finally comes out, and from here, we can already quote some of the most beautiful dialogues ever heard in a film like this. It must be said that the poet Piero Regnoli managed to write timeless masterpieces like... um.....ah yes.....damn, I had it on the tip of my tongue......well, anyway, phrases like "You look like a whore", "it's like corroded by time" or "this thing smells like death" are flashes of genius that not even Charlie Kaufman would come up with.
And then there is the superb music that will really catch you off guard: did you expect dark ambient or a nice creepy tune? But naaaaah, let's make a sci-fi music to make it all seem much more varied and multi-genre as cinema purists like it!
Let's conclude beautifully with the most hilarious... ehm, I meant to say profound moments of this work:
-The bear trap in a damn cottage?
-The evil little kid who touches his mother's breasts and subsequently, as a zombie, bites them off?
-The woman who happily munches on the kid's arm while the mother cries in front of him? A wonderful intertwining of the dramatic and slapstick comedy!
-The mustachioed man who takes forever to escape from the zombie priests?
Enough, I'm gonna throw up...
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