Agnes Obel
Aventine

I like to write about my musical passions, especially about the good and sometimes even about the bad, and I have rarely attempted "slamming" artists I don't like; I prefer to be positive and proactive, as promotion is definitely more my thing than negative criticism, also because I am anything but a music critic and I don't even care to be one. Sometimes, however, a good "slap in the face" is never a bad thing, so this time I feel like reflecting and perhaps throwing out some small provocations, so here is a brief and blunt analysis of a beautiful, elegant, and exquisitely presented container of hot air. Let's start with a simple and innocent question: is there really anyone who can genuinely like this soulless, pseudo-refined, and pseudo-alternative mediocrity?

Mind you, by "like" I don't mean an appreciation of the intrinsic quality of the musical offering, the production, the sound, or other technical details: I wonder, almost naively, how anyone could feel any emotions listening to this album. Is "Aventine" by Danish artist Agnes Obel worthy of praise simply because it deviates from a "simple" pop perspective to settle into an elegant and refined chamber pop? Perhaps for some, yes, but for me, this is simply an absolutely poor, whiny, empty product, devoid of any creative spark and communication skills. I mean, can this album really be considered superior to one by P!nk, Little Boots, or Melanie C just for the so-called "intentions"? As far as I'm concerned, absolutely not, I am firmly convinced that no musical genre is superior to others by default or by "divine right". The girl in question might have a decent vocal ability, and her debut "Philharmonics," although far from memorable, showed some potential at a creative level, we're talking about a singer-songwriter/pianist undoubtedly talented and technically very skilled, but what's the use when the ability to create an emotional connection, to instill images and emotions in the mind and heart of the listener is less than zero? What good is refinement if you're not even remotely capable of breaking away from the simple, banal, and overused slow piano and voice formula with some violins in the background, which seems so cultured and alternative? I'm sorry, Agnes, but I won't be won over, your album is a pure and simple cash grab, whether it's operatic pop or Jennifer Lopez covers matters little.

The album drags on pitiably in an endless and narcoleptic succession of moonlit sonatas (so many moonlit moments and so few sonatas), and as if that weren't enough, the singing manages to be even more static and monotonous than the music offered; languid, almost suffering and without the slightest emotional variation, it seems to proclaim (not without a certain amount of smug self-satisfaction) "eh, but I'm feeling troubled!"; a Chinese torture indeed. There's very little else to say, except partially for "Dorian", which in the context of a more complete album might have made a decent impression, but too bad that a more complete album implies the presence of one, at most two, songs of this type, certainly not nine and moreover all cookie-cutter made, damn the clergy! I read that the girl boasts many admirers and excellent reviews, but as far as I'm concerned if this is the music, if these are the alternative artists that are liked by those who like them, I'll hold tight to the Scissor Sisters, Melanie C, and Eiffel 65. No hard feelings for Ms. Agnes Obel, who seems to be a serious and prepared artist, but for me, works of this kind are truly the triumph of fluff.