Aaron Hovarth; Michael Jelenic; Pierre Leduc; Fabien Polack
Super Mario Bros

THE REVIEW

€20,424,060 in box office receipts in Italy is no joke (apart from the Zalone phenomenon, which I’ve already discussed extensively). That’s what “Super Mario Bros” grossed in 2023, the cartoon that marked the resurgence of the mustachioed Italian-American plumber (who, to be honest, has always been in style for videogame lovers, but the brand among Generation Z was definitely fading dangerously). The idea for the movie, moreover, goes back many years, but Nintendo consistently hesitated to grant the rights, remembering the flop of “Super Mario” (1993) with Bob Hoskins—a commercial disaster (above all) and a critical flop as well. However, the decision not to make a second, and potentially fatal, live action convinced Nintendo to give the green light for a cinematic adaptation.

So, how is this movie? It’s decent, watchable, nothing special. I could stop here, but I’ll try to explain further. Beyond an undeniably high-level animation, which is particularly suitable for a very young (or simply young) audience thanks to its relentless pace from start to finish (sometimes even too relentless), I believe the biggest issue lies in the screenplay—in the guiding hand. Since it’s the first movie of an already planned saga (with Super Mario Galaxy coming out soon), they had to start from scratch, so all the characters are introduced to us meticulously, which weighs down the film’s pacing; whenever it’s not racing forward, showing chases, or moving at supersonic speed, it feels slow and awkward (after the opening credits, there are at least 15 minutes of inexplicable stasis). When the action takes over, there’s fun to be had, even though the characters are (almost) always missed opportunities: Mario and his brother Luigi (who could have sparked some good comedy gags spend half the movie separated; the little fungus who follows Mario and Princess Peach [too similar to Elsa from Frozen] is never funny, and the villain, the big turtle Bowser, is a villain we’ve already seen a thousand times). Some gags are actually enjoyable: Mario and Luigi having to fix a broken tap while a furious dog watches them; the army of monkeys led by the old Kong; and some references to past videogames. And here lies the second problem: technically, this should be a film aimed at younger generations, maybe even kids, but it seems more fit for an adult born, raised, or even lived through the 1980s (i.e., people in their 40s-50s) since the references to late ’80s or early ’90s videogames will hardly be picked up by a kid (here they reference games with cartridges—ancient stuff), and even the soundtrack (which is excellent) is an outpouring of 1980s sounds: AC/DC; Aerosmith; A-ha. Not to mention the annoying product placement that Nintendo (and Sony) wanted to shove in on a large scale.

Of course, the original voice acting has signs of true class, Bowser/Jack Black is vocally phenomenal, and Donkey Kong—shoehorned in around the film’s midpoint—is perhaps the only truly defined character. Likewise, the super star (a bit too Emoj), constantly depressed, is the only one who actually has genuinely funny lines (she has fun when things go badly, gets sad when things go well). Sure, Illumination (who made the whole Despicable Me saga) has done better, but in an age when young people's attention spans resemble that of a TikTok video, you have to wonder what other choice screenwriters and directors would have had but to make an easy film that runs at a thousand miles an hour? Unfortunately, none.