Patti Smith
Twelve

An old Zen saying goes: “When you have no new ideas to exploit, exploit the old ones”.
It seems that the ForeverYoung Patti has followed this principle with this cover album (it seems to be quite fashionable lately) by reinterpreting 12 great rock classics (hence the very original title). It wasn't enough to have Brian Ferry with his horrendous Dylan cover album (?!) or Avion Travel with their other half slip-up tribute album to Paolo Conte… NO. Now, even Patti Smith gives us an album of songs that aren't hers, which, when redone by her, sound like bland and weak rock songs like the glazed jellies in some suburban American bars.

Songs lacking nerve that would even be passable if you didn't know they were originally written by Jimi Hendrix (for example) or the Beatles or the Nirvana. Arranged in a flat way (the classic rock 'n' roll lineup, trite and overused since the dawn of time) and performed without conviction, the former-priestess of the good old days even presents us with an Everybody Wants to Rule the World by the late Tears for Fears, lacking bite and frankly pointless (at least, musically speaking), making you miss the original. We continue with various Helpless by Neil Young (again: always better the original), Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana (damn, they reign everywhere!), rendered almost like a ballad without grit and without Curt Kobain's expressive force, making it pointless and embarrassing compared to the original.
The disfiguration continues with the Doors with Soul Kitchen (to say the least boring, especially when proposed in such a standard and bite-less way), Gimme Shelter by the Rolling Stones (which again makes you wonder: why?!), White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane (cute, yes, no one denies it… BUT WHY?! WHY?!?!!), The Boy in the Bubble by Paul Simon (rendered trivial here without even the rhythmic key that was the real surprise of the original), Within You Without You by the Beatles (a boring version), and some other tracks I skip over for decency and laziness.

In short, a downright “embarrassing” operation for the low execution and interpretative level of the tracks, arranged practically “carelessly” WITHOUT a minimum of idea (ideas that were instead very present and “polished” in the original versions) and without a hint of verve, aggressiveness, and conviction that makes you think that “the priestess really is slacking”.
A barely decent work that is just about listenable at medium volume in the car during some long journey, not for the beauty of the tracks themselves but only for the recognizability of immortal songs that you will end up humming always and anyway, regardless of the performer. If Gianna Nannini (just to pull a name) had made the exact same album, it would have been the same thing, maybe…even better, actually!

Patti dear, listen… don’t ruin your final career with these low marketing tricks: if you have no ideas or are not convinced, just stay home writing poetry books, anecdotes about the Greenwich Village of New York in the 60s, and all you want.
But hang up the guitar and do not tarnish that reputation of a “fierce Amazon priestess” you once had. Forget about the Zen sayings and “exit Making Music” through the main entrance with dignity and class.
Dammit! Do it at least for us who loved you for Horses, Easter, Waves, and the others and do not disappoint us like other singers now in decline, less motivated and serious than you.

It would be 2 and a half stars, but I round it up to 3 for the songs themselves and for the affection I feel towards Smith...

P.S.
I suggest one thing: download the same original tracks from the net, put them in the exact same order, and burn yourself a nice compilation as it should be. I bet that already at the first listen you will absolutely not regret this tasteless and bite-less little disc? The bet is open...