Paolo Costella
Tutti Gli Uomini Del Deficiente

The years from 1997 to 2000 are one of my favorite historical periods. It might be because I associate them with the golden age of my childhood, but I love picking up pop products of the time (be they movies, music videos, Top10 singles, video games) and inhaling the carefree atmosphere, letting myself be infected by the enthusiasm of a society optimistically heading towards the New Millennium, towards the Future, and warming my heart with it. All this regardless of the actual (poor) artistic quality, to be clear: such products should be seen as testimonies of a beautiful time when we could still afford the luxury of being foolish, before September 11, the crisis, and the postmodern ironic cynicism of the internet came along to devour everything.

So driven partly by nostalgia, partly by the curiosity to see if it's true that Ready Player One copied the plot completely (spoiler: it’s very true), the other night I revisited Tutti gli Uomini del Deficiente, a cultish mishmash from '99 conceived by the Gialappa’s Band and entrusted to the enviable direction of Paolo Costella, already responsible for other cult pieces like Bellifreschi and Ricky e Barabba. Having watched it for the first and last time in 2002, in second grade, even in those unsuspecting times my review was What a load of rubbish. Therefore, today, animated by the same spirit with which one watches old VHS tapes to revisit those same commercials that in twenty years have been promoted from "annoyance to eliminate" to "precious relics," I'm about to elevate this mishmash.

Overlooking the plot, which excuse me for insisting but it’s REALLY the one from the Spielbergian blockbuster, and I am amazed none of the screenwriters have sent lawyers after Cline who wrote the novel, overlooking the plot in short, Tutti gli Uomini del Deficiente is, by design, the show-off showcase of the cast of Mai Dire Gol in its period of maximum glory. By design, at least. Because, although it is unusually well-managed for a choral film directed by the filmmaker of Dio Vede e Provvede (the characters are fifteen thousand and all have more or less the right space), this work will always be remembered as one of the biggest wastes of talent in the history of Italian comedy.

No point beating around the bush, the film is exactly as you remember it: it sucks. It’s full of ridiculous scenes, empathetically embarrassing situations, actors who are mostly terrible/mundane, and even the talented ones are unmotivated and poorly directed, the screenplay is a feat of colossal nonsense, and for mercy’s sake, we will refrain from discussing the horrendous fictional video game at the center of the story, evidently made by someone who had never even caught a glimpse of a real video game, not even back in the Pacman days.

However, however... however, re-watching Tutti gli Uomini del Deficiente today is quite a ride on the roller coaster of memories. There's Mentana, who didn't suspect at all his future as the Meme King reigning over Facebook from his throne, dishing out “blasts” to the web idiots, and he limited himself to being the face of TG5. There’s AldoGiovanni&Giacomo when they could still make people laugh without even uttering a coherent word throughout the film. There's Claudia Gerini, oh my, Gerini, what can you say about Gerini, she was so Superior they had to pair her with Littizzetto dressed as a punk to downplay her a little and she still comes out clean. There's Fabio de Luigi pre-Love Bugs and pre-infinite string of atrocious comedies who, at that time, had the hand of the God of Comedians laying upon him. There's Massironi who was a walking sweetheart and you just wanted to hug her tightly. There's the soundtrack by the Elii, from one of their most amusing and least appreciated albums. Then well, there’s also Arnoldo Foà at his worst, and Crozza who's playing a character so unbearable that he goes full circle, becomes likeable, goes full circle again and remains unbearable; there’s the consistency of Paolo Hendel, that today as then every time he appears you want to hit him in the face with a shovel; and finally, there’s the Gialappa’s, who as always are intrusive, inappropriate, and even surrounded by comedians can't make you laugh even if the fate of the world depended on it. Tutti gli Uomini del Deficiente is that, an old class group photo: look at how this one was, look at how that one turned out, look at this one I had forgotten. Perfect, in its foolish lowliness, for evoking simpler times, when such a disaster could glide by smoothly without landing the responsible ones in a public shaming and the hell of internet derision.

The rating? There's no rating because it should be either 1 or 5, and I don't feel like giving it either. Not even averaging to 3, because 3 is given to mediocre works, and with Tutti gli Uomini del Deficiente anything can be said, except for it being mediocre. It’s a film, for better or worse, brimming with memorable scenes and situations, each of which would be enough to remember any other film ("Which one? Oh yes, the film with the basketball game between blacks and Jews", "Yes, yes, I get it, you're talking about the film with the priest on acid", etc.). Naturally, whether this is a positive or negative factor is for you to decide; personally, I have always had a soft spot for works that between anonymity and HUGE MISTAKE choose the latter. If nothing else, twenty years later, they are rewatched more willingly.