SUPERVAI1986

A man, before getting on the bus, asks the driver:
- Excuse me, do you have to pay for carrying ceramics?
- No! - replies the driver.
Then the man turns around and, addressing his wife:
- Get on, toilet!

A plane has just taken off from Orio Airport. The captain addresses the passengers: "Ladies and gentlemen, good morning. We have just taken off from Orio Airport. We are at an altitude of 1500 feet, the temperature is 2°C, and we expect to arrive in Paris in about 40 minutes." The captain leaves the microphone but forgets to turn it off, and the whole plane hears him talking to the co-pilot. "Ah, now I’m going to take a dump and then I’m going to screw the flight attendant," he says to the second pilot. The passengers see the flight attendant rushing towards the cockpit to warn the captain about the open microphone. However, before she can reach the cockpit, an old man stops her and, after tripping her, says: "Don't hurry like that: first you need to go take a dump!"

An old man goes to the doctor: "Doctor, I have a problem: when I make love to my wife, I hear whistles..."; the doctor asks him: "Excuse me, but how old are you?", "95," "and at 95 years old, what do you expect to hear, applause???"

a nun who sews: damn I pricked myself! Christ I said damn! Madonna I said Christ...fuck it I didn't want to be a nun!!!

Two young lovers are strolling in the park when they pass by a group of retirees and hear them whispering:
- Forget about holding hands! Take her to a motel, fag!!!
The boy, feeling very embarrassed, pretends not to hear and keeps walking.
They pass by a construction site, and the workers shout at him:
- Hey, idiot, stop just walking around! Take her to a dark place and fuck her!
The boy, increasingly embarrassed, continues to pretend not to notice; he walks the girl home and says goodbye:
- So, see you tomorrow, love...
And she replies:
- Sure, see you tomorrow, you deaf moron!!!

There’s a truck driver who from morning till night keeps repeating: "They call me Charon and between my legs I’ve got a bison....!!! They call me Charon and between my legs I’ve got a bison....!!!"
At a certain point, while Charon is driving around in his truck, he sees a nun hitchhiking and picks her up.
After a few minutes, he puts a hand on her thigh and says, "Sister, do you know why they call me Charon? Because between my legs I’ve got a bison??" And she replies, "Well, you know, it’s been a while since I’ve done such things.... well, alright! Let’s go Charon!"
So they go to the back of the truck to do what they need to do, and once they’re done, they return to the cab.
"Alright Sister, now you understand why they call me Charon, huh?? But tell me, what’s your name???"
And the nun responds in a small voice: "Renato, and I’m going to a masked ball!"

A young man goes to ask for his girlfriend's hand in marriage. He approaches her father, telling him that he loves his daughter and would like to marry her: The bride's family is very rich.
Father: Young man, what do you do for a living?
The suitor: I work at the post office.
Father: How much do you earn per month?
The suitor: About 1500 euros.
Father: You see, with that amount, my daughter can't even afford toilet paper.
The suitor leaves the room and meets his girlfriend, who asks him: So, how did it go with my father?
The boyfriend: He told me you’re an ugly bitch.

payday at the little mountain carabinieri barracks.
The Marshal: "Caputo! 1000 Euros!" and Caputo: "Okay, Marescià."
"Scannafosso! 1000 Euros," says the captain.
Scannafosso: "Vabbuò Marescià!"
"I'm Ingargiulo and I'm taking my 1000 Euros," says the Marshal.
"Total! 3000 Euros!.....Total!? TOTAL!?!?!?! Look at this cazz' e Totale... he's the one who gets the most and is never seen!!!!!!"

A guy has a somewhat frigid wife, and not knowing how to solve this problem, he goes to the doctor:
- Doctor... please, give me something strong for my wife because she really is not in the mood...
- Alright... take these... - and he hands him a small bottle with a clear liquid.
- I recommend... 3 or 4 drops are more than enough!!
That evening, the husband puts 4 drops into his wife's soup and then thinking he's being clever, he adds another 4 drops to his own. After dinner, he slips into bed, and shortly after, his wife arrives, completely naked, and gets into bed with him. In a lustful manner, she begins to caress her husband who is turned the other way, but he seems to be unresponsive. Then she starts moaning and sighing and says:
- You know dear... tonight I really want cock!
And the husband replies: - If only I knew!
****************************
A young man walks into a pharmacy and says to the owner:
- Doctor, give me a condom; my new girlfriend invited me to dinner at her place. We've been dating for three months, and things are getting "hot." I think I'm going to let her try the cookie tonight...
The pharmacist hands him the condom, and the young man leaves. He immediately comes back and says:
- Doctor, please, give me another one because my girlfriend's sister is quite a hottie; she keeps crossing her legs in front of me and sometimes I even catch a glimpse of her pussy! I think she wants something too, and since I'm going to dinner at their house tonight... you know how it is...
The pharmacist gives him the second condom, and he exits. Just like before, he comes back right away and says:
- Doctor, maybe it's better to give me another one because my girlfriend's mom is a real babe! The lady, when her daughter isn't around, brushes up against me in a way that drives me crazy, and since I'm going to dinner at their place tonight, you understand...
Dinner time arrives, and the young man is seated at the table next to his girlfriend, with her mother and sister across from him. The girlfriend's father comes in and sits down at the table. The young man immediately lowers his head, folds his hands, and begins to pray:
- Lord, thank you for this food, blah blah blah, we thank you for this food...
Five minutes pass, and he continues:
- Bless this bread, Lord, blah blah blah...
Everyone exchanges surprised glances; the girlfriend leans closer and whispers in his ear:
- Darling, I didn't know you were so religious!
And he replies:
- I didn't know your father was a pharmacist!!!

A man has a rather frigid wife and, not knowing how to solve this problem, he goes to the doctor:
- Doctor... please, give me something strong for my wife because she just isn't in the mood...
- Sure... take these... - and he hands him a small bottle with a clear liquid.
- Just remember... 3 or 4 drops are more than enough!!
That evening, the husband puts 4 drops in his wife's soup and then, thinking he can be clever, he adds another 4 drops to his own. After dinner, he gets into bed, and shortly after, his wife comes in, completely naked, and gets into bed with him. With a seductive demeanor, she begins to caress her husband, who is turned away, but he seems unresponsive. Then she starts moaning and sighing and says:
- You know, darling... tonight I really want some cock!
And the husband replies: - If only you knew!